Let Excitement Guide Your Life Choices and Don't Let Anyone Squash Your Enthusiasm
I'm sitting at a little wooden table outside Juicebox Cafe (12th Street on Capital Hill, Seattle) and the warm wind is blowing across my skin...the summer is about to leave. Jessica just left; we met to discuss how I can teach photo/video/self-esteem/empowerment workshops for the girls at her organization, Young Women Empowered. I'm feeling high on cloud nine; seeing my dreams blossoming before my eyes and then...my husband calls and I immediately feel a need to dull down my enthusiasm, fearful I'll appear flightly, inconsistent, impressionable, wishy-washy. I feel so excited & proud coming home and reporting on how my business is performing, new clients, new sales, grow grow grow gold star. He gives me a high five and I'm beaming knowing that my husband is proud of me and approving of what I'm doing.
But here I am cowering about telling him my fresh flash of inspiration - a blossoming dream of using my music as a platform to empower others to chase their dreams too. I can blog, podcast, vlog, do workshops, retreats, write books, whatever.... I'm just learning so much as I pursue my dream that I now have lots of share that apparently (according to Jessica who was raving about how helpful everything I was saying is for her) people are hungry to hear (and I'm ecstatic to share...like SERIOUSLY I haven't been so excited since the last time I was on fire for a big dream).
I'm singing my dreams boldly down the streets of Seattle, but the moment I hear my husband's voice in the phone, my own voice drops quieter and I play it down. Instead of screaming "I'm so excited, I'm going to change the world!!!", I hushly mutter "Yah, so I'm thinking of doing that blog that could help some people." He says, "Okay" and his voice is totally neutral and my confidence trips.
I catch myself....I'm assuming he isn't 100% on board. I know he can't and won't stop me. He'll always encourage me to do whatever I want, but I'm not seeing the natural enthusiasm bubbling out of him. Maybe it's because when I tell him about business, he gets the numbers game but when I'm talking about the warm fuzzy feelings of women chasing their dreams, he's not exactly feeling the OMG-wave-your-hands-in-the-air-and-squeal vibe.
The real point of my story though is MY reaction. All he said was 'okay' and who knows what he was thinking - he was at work and he could be keeping his voice down but be super excited for me on the inside. The point that concerns me is that at the first sign of neutrality, I jumped to conclusions and fearfully assumed I was being judged, discouraged or not believed in. Clearly, my own mind is still fragile and sensitive to even the tiniest of ripples in the water. So after we say goodbye, I return myself immediately to this present moment - the wind on my silk blouse, the funky city guy eating his salad across the sidewalk and the girl walking by with pink headphones. Seattle is beautiful right now. The summer is pregnant with potential and my soul is waking up to its deepest calling, a call to play in the wild and magical unknown.
When I was 18, about to head off to college, I promised myself that I would make all my life decisions moving forward based on one criteria.... What are you excited about? Do that. So that's how I chose which classes to take in college. Forget planning a career! I believe that if every decision is made with the wise guidance of excitement and joy then BOOM we're golden and the pathway that unfolds will be spectacular and extraordinary. So here we go...the Cha Wilde lifestyle, wherever my intuition will lead me. Stay excited. Make no assumptions, unless they're positive. Come back to the present moment that is so ripe with beauty and raise the vibrations again. You can't be squished if you keep springing back to life. And smile....big smiles. If you're not smiling...get out fast and race to wherever or whatever brings that smile back! :D // Cha