Living in Fear is Like Swimming Beneath a Log Boom

Excerpt from this morning's journal scribbles:

"Last night I had a breakthrough! I sang FREELY! People could hear me and that was fine. {Normally, I'm so obsessed and distracted by the knowledge that someone might overhear me but last night} I was more excited about the music, the sound of my voice, creating something beautiful.....I felt completely free, like I could do anything I wanted. I could finally sing anywhere, anytime and I wasn't limited to privacy.....For so long, privacy has been a hiding place. What makes me happy is singing ALL DAY whenever I want and for so long (too long!) I've been holding my breath, waiting for pockets of safe privacy to make noise. It's like swimming under ice or logs, waiting for my next chance to rise to the surface and gasp for breath. How sweet it must feel to live above the water {where I could breath all day without even thinking about it}! Why would I stay below water by choice? Facing fear is {pushing up to the surface and} moving one log at a time, chipping away at the ice. Once you break through, keep going, perhaps even with more force, because if you ease off the ceiling will start to close back in and your progress is lost." // Cha

**Advisory - this is not a lesson in how to escape an ACTUAL log boom. It is a metaphor. I take no responsibility for how you handle yourself in icy water. Good luck.
MY NEW WORDS:
log-boomed:
you're floating along happy and then you suddenly get stuck in fear
log-booming: when you realize you're under fear and you're actively pushing to get out
 

VIDEO: Ahhh! Now I'm made at myself because I was totally getting log-boomed while recording this video. I was in my office and my brother-in-law was in the other room and my skin was crawling at the idea of him overhearing me. I was pushing against the logs but good good it sucks to speak when I don't feel 100% confident - especially when I know how confident I can be. But I suppose it's appropriate given the nature of what I'm tallking about lol. 

Cha WildeComment