What Will Your Friends Think If You Want to be a Professional Singer?

Pretend you're in a video game and you're the only conscious person on earth and everyone else is just a computer simulation. What would you do? Suddenly you're free because other people's opinions don't exist. So, how would you live differently? Try this trick when you want to do something new or make a life change but you're worried about what other people will think. Our fear of "what other people will think" often stems from our deep desire to appear consistent. Check out 'Cognitive Consistency Theory'. At age 25, I announced to the world that I wanted to be a professional singer. I braced myself for the surprised "Since when do you sing?" or the look of pity on people's faces as they wish me a doubtful "good luck". 

I thought I was going to rock everybody's boat. I was stuck, thinking that because people had not previously associated the label "singer" with me that I would therefore not be allowed to randomly reinvent myself and become a singer. I convinced myself that I wasn't allowed to reinvent myself because other people wouldn't like it - people don't like it when we change. Like when my mom started riding horses at age 40, someone said to her, "But you don't ride horses." 

The label "singer" doesn't match with people's idea of who I am. 

Silence. I'm waiting for my friends to react. I just said, "I want to be a professional singer" and now I'm bracing 

When we change, it means other people also have to change something in their own brains; they have to update their definition of us. So here I am, staring at my friends, waiting for the push back. Nothing happens. Nobody challenges. Nobody is even excited. They're totally un-phased. "Cool," is the generally reaction. I got my panties in a twist afraid other people were affected by my life choices.

Turns out, people don't really care what I'm doing, as long as I'm happy. Remember everyone else is so focused on their own problems they don't have any bandwidth to focus on yours. You'll be lucky if they even like your Facebook page. So forget 'em and go for it! // Chamonix

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