Dear Friend, What Really Happened and Where are the Mermaids?

4 Oct 202 In the Backseat of the van going to the Denpasar Airport

Dear Friend,

I’m embarrassed to say I’ve barely written about mermaids. My book doula aka writing couch told me people often need to write a book they didn’t expect to write before they can actually get to writing the book they have a vision for. The vision of mermaids keeps getting pushed to the small pile on the side of my desk while pages and pages of my past are towering above me. I didn’t realize I needed to write all of this. It seemed off topic but I can’t seem to avoid writing it. It’s what comes out when I pick up the blank page. It doesn’t feel as fun as the mermaids and I’m praying I’ll get through this and swim on towards fun adventure. Maybe my perception is skewed. Perhaps you’ll love reading my pre-mermaid past. Maybe it’s the origin story I had to write first but man, I’d love to just slip into the future sometimes to create something brand new.

I’m wondering though…. If I can change my story and my entire life changes, the way I feel inside changes .. the power of which story I tell and how is in my hands. Why do I feel so compelled to focus on this one in this old way? I’m attached to it being this way. It’s scarier to invent something new even if it feels better. I want to be honest but I’m being told that my memories aren’t being honest with me anyway. So at the end of the day…what feels fun to create? Do I have the guts to just go with that?

Today I fly to America. Let’s go get my journals out of my parents loft and see what “really” happened all those years ago…or did it? Even my journals will be full of “what I thought happened”. Haha blame all this on education about human perception… I’m reading books about the human brain and storytelling.

Love & Rainbows, Cha Wilde