Dear Friend,
I’m drinking orange, carrot and ginger juice this morning. It promises immunity and my running nose is begging for it. I am not sick. My nose runs a river of clear muscus from 4-8am apparently and I’ve sneezed a hundred times. Allergies? This happened before when I slept in this same hotel room. Perhaps the air filter in the AC contains dust that doesn’t agree with me. I’m moving to a new hotel across town today. In a few hours I’ll load up my way-to-many bags in Ary’s minivan and follow behind him on the scooter as we drive twenty minutes along the coast. I’m moving myself closer to the beach. My time in the rice paddies has grounded me and now my soul is peering over the trees to the horizon, searching for the ocean.
The ocean is home to the sunrise. Saya suka matahari pagi ada di laut. I was awake before the sun today, at 5am with a pen in my hand and cacao on my tongue. Yesterday I began writing at 3:30am. The day before that the process started at 4am. There is magic in the madrugada that wants to be played with by us artists. I’m drinking the cacao every early morning to open my heart, enhance my creativity, increase my sensitivity to the deeper realms that are so eager to be expressed through me. It’s a medicine for the heart that wants to feel and connect. It’s effects are so subtle I don’t notice them kicking in. I simply start writing and the most profound truths dribble out of me and I say the things I really mean to say. After this dark morning solitude, I throw my laptop bag over my shoulder and walk the dirt path to the cafe. I sneezed as I passed by a farmer who was out with his machete wearing nothing but a t-shirt. Selamat pagi, and we laughed.
I arrived at the cafe this morning as the offering was floating around the building. My favorite baristas place flowers on the ground and brush water into the air, whispering prayers to the gods and demons. The scooters that zoom by noisily make my skin crawl with painful vibration. I hear them disappear down the road for miles, chased by the rising sun.
The orange, ginger, carrot juice is fresh and they just presented me with a smoothie bowl. I’m about to ingest avocado, spinach, lime, cranberries, coconut, granola and goodness…fuel for the healthy body I continue to invest in. It feels good to write on this blog after a month away. My life is jam packed full of words and long moments of silence. When the blog is neglected it is because I am exhausted from the pages of my private journal and the new pages in the book. I simply cannot bare to pull more words out for this website. I miss it gravely though as this blog has been a place where my reflections connect me to the world I’m exploring. I delight in sharing my journey with the people who take interest in it. So I celebrate with another sip of orange juice because today I made it to the blog and it feels amazing to write just like this.
And to conclude, I’ll ponder aloud on one slightly deeper thought…
What is it like to have a project take over your life, to hand yourself over to new way of being? It’s a salvation from the disorientation of being spread thin. It’s a relief to wake up in the morning and know exactly where to pour my energy. It’s also sacrificial. So many passions I love embodying are culled, falling to the wayside with a goodbye wave and a maybe see you again sometime. So I refocus my eyes on the opportunities that come with going deeper and deeper into one deserving project. The reward is transformation and growth than cannot be forced but only received as a result of hard work being given wholeheartedly.
What beauty is all around you right now?
Love & Rainbows,
Cha Wilde
