I have this big dream of singing at the gorge and all day everyday it's on my mind. I don't watch TV anymore because I'm practicing music instead. I've stopped working on Mondays & Fridays to devote those days to music (which is a big blow on the bank account). I've started performing live music in yoga classes and I'm regularly posting videos (music & vlogs) online. And yet, it's just not enough. I know I'm still holding back because I'm afraid to take the next big steps on my journey. I'm taking lots of baby steps that are moving me inches forward but I'm starting to feel self-conscious about now take bigger leaps & bounds.
Some things I feel like I SHOULD be doing: performing open mics, busking, gigs, festivals, shows, more LIVE social media videos, out reach to other musicians, more instrument practice, more pushing to get my music heard by other people, more recording (especially more polished recording, like actually finishing tracks so they are complete with all instruments and ready to be played on the radio and performed live with a band), finding musicians to record or perform with, taking music lesson (guitar, voice and piano) and the list goes on. There are so many things I can do and so much of it is unknown that it's hard to step forward. All the baby steps I'm taking are within my comfort zone - things I'm familiar with such as making music videos, performing in yoga classes and vlogging.
I'm making progress but I'm not pushing as far out of my comfort zone as I know I can and need to if I'm going to see the results I want. It feels like a batter between keeping it comfortable enough that I keep going and don't scare myself away and pushing outside the comfort zone enough that I feel inspired by the magic that happens out there.
When I was at Sh'Bang Music & Arts Festival, I drew a card out of a Native American Medicine Card Deck...it was THE BADGER. At first I wasn't impressed...it's not exactly a sexy or sparkly animal (what I usually go for) but as I read this description in the book, I was like HELLS YES I'M A BADGER:
"Badger's medicine is aggressiveness & the willingness to fight for what it wants...Badger is the medicine of many powerful medicine women...you are quick to express your feelings, and you do not care what the consequences are...Badger medicine healers have the courage to use unconventional means to exact a cure...people with Badger medicine will be aggressive enough to make it to the tops of their chosen fields, because they do not give up. They are the finest healers because they use any and all means to ensure healing...A Badger person is often the 'boss' and the one everyone fears. Badger gets the job accomplished. Badger's certainty is a source of strength....
...If Badger pushed its way into your cards today, it may be telling you that you have been too meek in trying to reach some goal. Badger asks you how long you are willing to sit and wait for the world to deliver your silver spoon. In this medicine, the key is to become aggressive enough to do something about your present state of affairs. Badger is teaching you to get angry in a creative way and say, "I won't take it anymore....Badger may be signalling a time when you can use your healing abilities to push ahead in life. Heal yourself by aggressively removing the barriers that don't 'grow corn.'...use Badger's aggression to seek new levels of expression..."
So I guess I need to get a move on then ;) Thanks Badger // cha