We are all helping each other survive. Once we have healed we help each other step forward into expansive co-creation in which we thrive.
I wrote that in my journal this morning. I’m in a new co-working space in Seattle and the decor in here is on fucking point! My ass is literally sitting in a velvet chair rn, to right is a white baby grand piano, to my left are bronze lamps, and little plants are smiling all over the place. So let’s talk about vibes.
You have seen me in my studio surrounded by paintings and music instruments. You’ve dreamed of having a magic space like that for yourself. Here’s a truth bomb…it’s lonely as fuck in my studio. I can’t deny the fact I’m a social butterfly who loves the great outdoors. Being along inside a box forcing myself to create art…because I’ve been telling myself that I need to do that to be a real artist, because I’m paying rent on the place and should make the most of it, because working in a big fancy studio space validates me and makes other people want to follow me or whatever. Yack.
When the body says no, it means NO.
For months now I have felt tight in my chest when I think of going to my studio. I wanted so badly to be a studio artist and once I made that dream come true, I was hit with all sorts of weird disappointing sensations. Now I’m dreaming of something else, specifically walking into the ocean in a bikini first thing each morning and joyriding around the country in a red Mazda Miata with my DJ controller, music production toys and yoga mat.
The dream arrives long after the dreaming.
Dreams change. What the fuck are dreams anyway? I’ve spent years of my youth dreaming of distant visions. I’ve tried so hard to let them go so I could feel free, relaxed and present. Instead of striving, can I please just enjoy whatever wonder is before me?!
Oh, human soul.
Why are you like this?
I keep circling back to this grounding belief that we are all helping each other. We’re all made of the same star stuff, experiencing the same strange human rollercoaster of shit and thrills. We’re all wondering WTF is happening and why it’s fucking worth it. Don’t lie. Underneath the work, the alcohol, the new clothes, the chatter, the runaway vacations, there is a humming ache, a hunger that we curse when it gets up in our face. Fuck you life. WTF.
All the coaches cheering and then therapists nodding, the musicians bleeding out before us and the bartenders listening as they spin the bottles in the dark. New programs, new methods, new revolutionary energy in the cosmos.
Is it just this young city I live in; glass towers containing eager robot-like humans who have lost the way of their soul as they clock into the chaos? In the old city (oh, Edinburgh I miss you), time felt a little different with all those corpses beneath the ground. The tombstones were crumbling as I walked beneath the stars falling into young love I knew would last forever, greater than any love that had ever been loved before.
Whatever we show up for today,
wherever environment we’re dancing in,
whatever we’re creating and teaching,
whoever we’re coaching or healing,
whichever invention we’re pouring our heart into,
we are all reaching for the same damn thing
and all of this is like an ant farm.
How am I help you today?
How are you helping me?
We help each other forward in healing, through the darkness and we are blessed with these moments of light play. Let the critical mass of Self energy expand so powerfully that my day is drenched in light, so much light the darkness is the distant dream.
CHA WILDE