Mud squishing between my toes, I slide my way up the dirt path to Lahangan Sweet. The sun is setting behind Mt. Agung, a magestic volcano in Eastern Bali. Every adventure on this island blows my mind. How is this small island home to so much diversity? When I arrived here months ago I assumed there would be a mountain jungle surrounded by beaches. I thought all beaches would be similar soft sand and all jungle would be lush and full of temples. Generally speaking, yes. The diversity is in the subtle differences. The shapes of the rice paddies, the color of the sand, the color of the water, the dialects of the people, the temperature and smell of the air, the views of the sunrise and sunset, the amount of traffic on the street, the bugs crawling around, it’s all different on different parts of this island.
At the moment, I’m relaxing on a jungle cliff overlooking a quiet bay, boats relaxing with anchors, freedivers’ heads bobbing around red buoys, mist rising up the volcano’s long smooth skirt that slides all the way down to the horizon where it meets grey ocean. The vegetation is fluffy green, leaves bouncing in gentle wind. I think it’s raining slighty. None of my clothes are fully dry. They’re all damp and starting to mold. I can feel bumps on the skin of my booty and thighs. Not from bugs or damp but from too much sitting. Hours of sitting on the back of a scooter.
Yesterday, I held onto Captain Bubbles and a camera as we zoomed to the top of a mountain, miles of steep switchback road, through itsybitsy Balinese villages. We passed by a party; loud Indonesian music and the smell of food peeking through the jungles leaves, dozens of family sitting around together. They were still making happy noise hours later when we rode back down the hill. We swerved around countless dogs who lounge smack dab in the middle of the road. How many times during the day do they have to get up and move for vehicles? Is the pavement warm? Are they oblivious? Are we driving through THEIR space?
We drove the scooter past a mountain temple, across a small river (dogs all sleeping on the riverbank), a group of Balinese villagers twisting tools in the engine of a broken scooter, tiny shops selling packaged food I never wish to eat, kids sitting on doorsteps playing with little wooden ball toys, moms sitting on doorsteps holding their babies, men walking down the road with giant bushels of grass or sugar can on their heads making them appear to be forest plant monsters with human legs and a machete. Many times I wondered if the scooter we’ve rented will make it up and around these savage road turns. Wind tying knots in my hair, chocolate melting on my tongue, iPhone in my hand, I click “next” on Spotify and my little orange Bose speaker blasts “Messy in Heaven” by Venbee. Liquid drum and bass guides us up through the jungle to fresh air and dancing clouds.
We parked the scooter at a hut and walk the rest of the way, paying 60,000 IDR, stashing our flipflops behind bamboo and drawing fancy DSLR cameras out of our bags. Captain Bubbles is shooting with his Sony. I’m holding the Canon 5D Mark IV that I’ve built multiple photography businesses with. Business complete, we’re on greater adventures now. The camera has been a friend since I was 10 years old. I was send to France as and exchange student and my grandparents gifted me my first camera; a Canon film camera that was red and grey. I loved it. I used that camera to photograph a ridiculous amount of French landscape and seashells. In my teenage years I was positively offended if a human being walked into my frame. I laugh to remember this because in my twenties I built two portrait photography businesses; the only thing I was interested in photographing were humans. These days I’m mainly photographing my coffee cups, my cute feet in the sand, and pretty ocean views. Twenty three years and 8 cameras later, I have no idea what happened to my little red camera, and I’m clicking the shutter of the fanciest camera I’ve ever owned at the sun setting behind Mt. Agung. Once again, my jaw has dropped, my eyes have opened wide and I hear my laughing voice exclaim, “This is SO COOL!”
I lay my head back and look up at the leaves of these summit trees,
relaxed far away from the busier corners of the earth.
The wind is smooth.
The perfect wind and the perfect water are almost identical,
if you ask my skin.
Mist is rising behind me,
sun rays shine and I point my toes.
Captain Bubbles is clicking his camera shutter rapidly. He’s having so much fun taking pictures of me in this gorgeous magical setting; he’s trying to capture my hair in the wind with the sun setting behind. He likes photographing silhouettes. I’m having so much fun relaxing and feeling the wind whipping my hair around. Being photographed is an essential part of becoming a more powerful photographer. I am now comfortable behind and in front of the camera. I certainly didn’t used to be. I started my working life happily hiding behind the camera and soon realized I wasn’t hiding. From behind the camera, I’m guiding, leading, directing, being in the spotlight just as if not more than the subject. From some people’s perspectives, I’m the star of the show when the camera is in my hands. I loved it. It’s a very empowering position that taught me how to use my voice, take control, soothe other people, create and problem solve on the fly, take decisive action despite a world of chaos circling around me, and always focus on the beauty. As a photographer, I’ve chosen to find beauty in this world and in the people of this world. Shooting and filming, I hope my work helps other people see the beauty that’s right there before their eyes, to choose to look for it, focus on it, and let everything else fade into the bokeh.
In front of the camera, there is nothing to fear. I hate seeing a photograph of myself and remembering how self-conscious I felt or how much I forced it. My desire is to see a photograph of myself and think… “Ah, this is what I look like when I’m enjoying myslf! This is what I look like when I’m relaxed and happy! This is how I look when I’m feeling joyful and alive! Look at me there in that beautiful moment.” In order to have this, I must actually be present, relaxed and enjoying the moments I’m living when someone else is taking the pictures. So I open my eyes and my ears. I listen to the sounds of the mountain and laugh at happy thoughts. I watch birds fly by and I delight in the sensual wind on my shins. All this pleasure is captured by the camera and the cameraman says, “You look so relaxed, at peace and so elegant.” Perfect. How I look is how I feel. Harmony inside and out. The photographs are honest.
Snacks are also important. Today’s snacks include Sweet Jackfruit Chips, Purple Sweet Potato Chips, Raw Cashews and Ritter Sport Chocolates (Hazelnut Flavor). I filmed myself doing some impressive yoga poses on a bamboo platform overlooking the misty valley. If you’ve ever tried to balance on one hand and one foot on round bamboo “planks” nailed together over the edge of a cliff, you’ll know it’s a precarious pleasure, a moment of deep meditation, a sigh of relief for the soul to turn upside down and stare at the rising clouds with blood running to your head and wind in your fingertips. When I find myself upside down in a yoga poses staring at the sky, I know I am succeeding in this life.
Love & Rainbows,
Cha Wilde
