Should I form a band with two lovers?
Magic eight ball says.... Reply hazy. Try again later.
I have a beautiful musical flow with Vinny. We both feel the music in our bones and it makes us sway and create such beautiful organic melodies. I feel safe creating around him, like I can say lyrics or try and miss any note and he would accept it fully. It feels so organic and natural. The idea of working with a larger team feels cluttered and complicated. Like adding people in would detract from our connection and things wouldn't flow as well.
I haven't felt the same musical flow with Davey in the past because we weren't communicating smoothly in general, so I didn't feel safe creating freely in front of him. Tonight I want to try playing with Davey again, just the two of us, because this week we've had massive breakthroughs with our communication and building a deeper connection. Will that translate into music? Is the connection I've been feeling with Vinny more about a romantic connection between two musicians OR are Vinny and I actually like musical soul-mates...all romance aside?
Having Davey and Vinny both play with me in a band would be great for not hurting anyones feelings. It feels like an easy route - everybody gets to be included and no tough decisions have to be made. The benefit could be great creative collaboration and more dynamic sounds. The cost could be greater creative compromise on everyone's parts. It could be a total train wreck with both of them desiring my full time and affection.
I realize it's not all about me. Vinny and Davey also have to decide if they want to work together too. That's all up in the air with mixed feelings for both parties I believe. It's getting so confusing I have this urge to throw my hands in the air and say "fuck it, im going off on my own and doing my own thing. ill find other musician. maybe ill find all female musicians so i dont have to deal with this boy drama!" lol
We'll just have to wait and see what the future holds.
xx
Chamonix
