The Cha Wilde Show 2: Sparkles on My Face, All I Wanna Do is Be Naughty, Creating a Christmas Song
Santa’s Elves just dropped acid in the toy shop and now they’re raving at the North Pole. In this episode we're making an EDM Christmas song from scratch using sound samples of toys, elves, jingle bells, magical wind and all the sounds that remind us of the holidays. As a self-proclaimed Grinchy-poo and naughty-lover, I never thought I would make a Christmas song (cringe) but I surprised myself. By facing this challenge, I remembered how life must be performed with your own twist. I had zero interest in producing a traditional religious Christmas song. I felt blocked and uninspired until I really tapped into what I have fun doing in the holidays. What makes a grinch love Christmas? I threw the judgement out the window and had fun being naughty, spicy and playful about Christmas. I wrote a Christmas song about fucking around on Christmas and not following the rules. I imagined myself dancing around naked, wearing sparkles, flirting with people at holiday parties, and dropping "magical substances" in people's drinks to liven up the party. Long story short, I wrote a song about elves dropping acid in the toy shop at the North Pole and throwing a rave. ha! Enjoy :) The finished song "Sparkles on My Face" is at the end of this episode and you can also listen to it here on my website.
LYRICS
i could sing about the elves
all the toys they keep on shelves
all the things my mama taught me
i could sing about the twelves
all the joys of sheep themselves
all the kings and what they brought thee
i could sing about the bells
how snowflakes are like ourselves
all the pretty things you bought me
i could sing about the spells
all the cakes and spicy smells
how the cracker bonbon shot me
but all i wanna do is be naughty, naughty
i wanna put sparkles on my face
tell bing crosby to turn up the bass
trade my ugly sweater for a little red lace
drop the f-bomb when it my turn to say grace
i wanna paint my toes hot pink
leave all the dishes staked in the sink
dance around naked in a vintage mink
sprinkling magic into everybody's drink
if anybody catches me i'll wink
FROM THE DESK OF CHA WILDE
I rebelled against the very notion of composing a Christmas song but let this be a lesson to us all that gems are hidden inside the rocks under which we find ourselves most squished. The dance beat that I crafted in this Christmas song has filled me with immeasurable joy and I've been headbanging in the car with no end. I’m actually looking forward to next Christmas so I can play this song for everyone again and again and so we can live up to the lyrics. This means that come Decemeber you and I shall slide into some red lingerie, pull a furry mink coat over our bare naked shoulders, smear glitter across our cheeks and dancing around our houses getting everyone as high (on drugs or life) as possible. Normally, I would just straight up cheer for drugs but truth be told, I'm coming down. This holiday season, I partied like usual and ended up in the valley of the shadow of death. Age and enough experience has got me feeling way to depressed after the parties these days and my enthusiasm for making music and building a powerful career that can carry that music around the globe is winning out. I'd rather protect my energy and health so I can make more sick beats. I've been going to yoga super regularly (my 31st birthday gift to myself was a daily yoga practice) and so I'm feeling amazingly connected to my body because of this and less willing to compromise these feel good for a high. The highs are getting way high and they're getting matched with way lows. So balancing out sounds less sexy but it feels sexier than ever. Trust me, I'm the most unfuckable unsexy uncool pathetic version of myself when I’m curled up like a moist rotting sea urchin on my bedroom floor, wrapped in a post shower towel of tears, wondering what the fuck I'm doing with my life…on the come down of sickness, depression, self doubt yuck. So yah, at least for now, I'll be leaving the highs to the cheeky North Pole elves in this Christmas song. And again I say how much fun I had creating a song which has allowed me to embrace my own version of Christmas. Instead of complaining about stuff, we always have the option to take ownership. Stop being a victim! If you usually whine about Christmas, finish this sentence…”Christmas would be amazing if everybody did ___.” My answer: Christmas would be way more amazing if everybody wore glitter and we danced around the house naked in giant furry coats dancing to my new Christmas song, “Sparkles on my Face”. Am I right?! Also, now I’m totally wondering if I should change the song’s name to “I Just Wanna Be Naughty” which might fit the vibe better.
What do you think?
Which song title do you prefer?
A) Sparkles on My Face
B) I Just Want to Be Naughty
CHA🍍WILDE