Cha Wilde

Stop Watering the Seed of Failure in Your Mind

Cha WildeComment

I'm standing behind the bake sale table. I carried the table across town. I spent two days baking EVERYTHING on this table. I'm collecting quarters. I'm sending this money to Women for Women Int. I'm changing the world....alone. Growing up, I believed my parents when they told me that I could do anything I put my mind to. So it was a painful shock when I started a philanthropy club in college and nobody came to my meetings. It was the first time I felt failure and I persevered until I burned out. It's not surprising - getting college kids to give their money & time to a random charity was always going to be an uphill slog. Nearly a decade later, that seed of failure is still in my head and my negative self talk is watering it and it grows bigger. Every time I host an event I have this nasty little bug in my ear... "What if nobody comes?" My fear of putting in the hard work with no reward is so demoralizing that it prevents me from taking action. I notice this with music - if I focus on what could go wrong (I fuck up during a performance, people judge the quality of my recordings, my brother says my songs sound basic bitch, im playing to an empty room, I spend years practicing and don't get any closer to my goals etc...) All of these thoughts are watering that seed of failure in my head. The seed will grow into a massive tree. By contrast, when people tell me they believe in me and they're excited about my music, I feel the seed of success swelling inside me. I remember how hopeful I was in high school & college. I remember what it feels like to believe you can do anything you put your mind to. I start to imagine the stage lights, the music in the air, the girl who listens to my songs in hard times, the joy I feel in my heart knowing that I set a goal, worked hard and achieved it. It's possible and in reach. So I ask you.... Why would you plant/water the seed of failure when you could plant/water the seed of success? Surround yourself with people who water the success seed and do everything in your power to weed out the seed of failure. Tend to your inner garden and go do what you want to do in this life!! // Cha