It's almost painful. I'm sitting at my computer editing photos and afterwards I need to go decorate Christmas cookies that I'm giving to my clients. But all I want to do is go play piano. Work first, then play. Gotta make money. I don't have anything to complain about because I love my job as a photographer but even still I have to force myself to focus. It's so easy to think, "Music is my priority in life so I should do that first, right?" Oh I'm so good at making excuses to take breaks and play music. I'm strengthening my discipline muscle, reminding myself that I have to reserve music for free time so I can build a business that supports me financially so I can have more freedom for music later.
I aim to play music multiple hours a day but sometimes during the work week, things get so busy I can barely squeeze in 30 minutes and sometimes I skip all together. I feel guilty for not practicing and I have negative thoughts like "If you skip practice you'll never accomplish your goals. 'Being Busy' isn't a valid excuse. You have to do your practice even if it means you have to stay up late past bedtime." But then the little angel on my shoulder will whisper... "Sleep is important. It's better to skip a few days of practice and stay happy and healthy. Don't push so hard that you burn out and don't beat yourself up for not practicing. If it's important to you, you'll find a way to make time without destroying your health. Day by day you'll figure out your routine and eventually you'll achieve your goals. Be the tortoise, not the hare. Be patient."
There is no glory in being a starving artist.
There is no victory in burning out.
Be patient and kind to yourself.
Practice because you love it.
You'll get there eventually.
// Cha