I locked myself in a bathroom stall. I don't know if I can do this. Every bone in my body feels like it's dying. I have to do this or I'll regret it forever. I'm at a karaoke bar. I've never done karaoke before (always too afraid). But I'm determined to overcome my fears, so I'm going to sit on this toilet, hyperventilating, until I find some courage. To make matters worse, up on stage before me, there's a super confident cute blonde girl with a kick-ass voice workin' the crowd. Everyone, including my boyfriend, is captivated by her. I'm jealous of her voice and her stage charisma. What's wrong with me? Why don't I have that same confidence? I'm tired of playing it safe, protecting myself from embarrassment and missing out on life.
Enough! // I got my ass off the toilet and went out to sing "Mean" by Taylor Swift and "That Don't Impress Me Much" by Shania Twain. How did I do it? I took really deep breaths. I kept telling myself that it's not about being good, it's about having fun. I won't regret hitting a wrong note but I will regret holding back and not giving it my all. I thought back to all the regrets I have (not singing in school play, not auditioning for aCapella groups in college etc...) and how much I extra-double-dog-hate having regrets. I don't want to add another one to the list. My desire to not have regrets is now more powerful than my fear. I told myself I would be proud of myself afterwards. Pride is a reward and regret is a punishment. I motivated myself by focusing on the positive reward. This is one of the most powerful tricks - focus on what you want rather than what you don't want. Instead of thinking "I don't want to make a mistake," think "I want to have fun". Instead of thinking, "I don't want to each chocolate," think "I'm excited to eat healthy." When it comes to conquering your fears, only allow these positive perspectives into your mind. Your mentality is the where the fear problem is originating, so that's the best place for you to start making changes! // The next morning, I wrote a song about my experience at the karaoke bar. Listen to "How Do You Do You". // Chamonix