13 Ways to Know You're In the Presence of an Empowered Woman
-She does not push others down to push herself up. She pulls herself up and then looks around to see how she can pull others up with her.
- She calls people on their bullshit and then she stands by their side to help them deal with it. She doesn't just leave someone to deal with their bullshit alone once she's call it out. Likewise, she doesn't point a finger and say "You have a problem". She points a finger and says "This is a problem. We will take care of this together."
-She says NO. She stands up for herself and speak up when something doesn't feel right. If she feels insecure or unstable, she will pause for a moment to gather herself, acknowledge the situation and rise, perhaps even sharing this entire experience openly.
-She calls out her own bullshit, sometimes stopping mid-sentence to say she is wrong. When someone else calls her on her bullshit or challenges her behavior or words, she calmly pauses to consider. She is never be afraid to look at herself under a microscope for the sake of self improvement.
-She cries with dignity, showing feelings vulnerably while standing strong in self acceptance; feeling no attraction crying for the sake of sympathy, drama or attention.
-She does not delight in the suffering or belittling of others. She does not make herself feel good by making someone else feel lesser. She experiences deepest joy from helping others rise into their own power. When she is empowered, she naturally empowers others. Thus, if you feel fearful, intimidated or in anyway a lesser version of yourself when you are around someone, it is likely that person is not empowered themselves. Empowerment feels so good that those who experience it long to spread it around so they can have more empowered people around them, fueling the empowerment cycle. Empowered people want to be around empowered people...so they spread the power.
-She does not exclude others. She immediately includes new friends into conversations with old friends, understanding that privacy is not necessary between humans. We are all the same. She'll express herself wholeheartedly and vulnerably in front of someone she's known for 10 years and in front of someone she's known for 10 minutes. That shared moment is a moment of beautiful bonding, especially for the new relationship. In this immediate intimacy, she leads the way for others to feel permission and acceptance to be as they are.
-She is not worried about what other people are thinking. She is focused on how she can love, give, support, encourage, empower them. She understands that whatever someone else is thinking is none of her business unless they choose to share it and so she makes no assumptions. Instead, she stands taller and projects what she believes to be true. Those who are thirsty for her flavor of water will come drink from her well. Those who think differently will go elsewhere. Being disliked or rejected is not a problem for her because she understands that by drawing such clear lines in the sand of her life, people will either be with her or against her. Either way, she holds welcoming arms open to them all.
-She does not tell you where you are, where you should go, or even draw attention to where you have been. She opens up space so you can grow into it and fill it up however you are led, however you choose. She sees where you are growing, what you can be, and she makes you believe you are already there so that you become it.
-She says 'I love you' not lightly as a disclaimer or apology to soften a blow (You know I love you but....) but as a genuine expression of deep connection. In other words, she doesn't sprinkle it around during a rocky conversations to calm the awkward waters. She may say "I love you" at the end of a conversation in a moment of authentic gratitude for whatever connection she has just experienced with the person before her.
-She has a powerful productive conversations that cultivate growth and progress, finding solutions to problems and stimulating new ideas. She steers conversations away from negativity, gossip and drama and redirects them to fuel feelings of love, acceptance, enthusiasm and possibility.
-She accepts herself completely. She's not trying to be something she is not or trying to fit herself into a little box or dilute herself to please others. She wishes you to do the same; mutual acceptance of self and others. Through self acceptance she gives others permission to be themselves; her aura is a safe space where all are accepted just as they are.
-She has power in abundance so it flows out naturally to others. When you leave her company, you will feel more powerful, more enthusiastic about life, more confident in your ability to make your dreams come true. All human interactions are just exchanges of energy; giving and taking/receiving power. An empowered woman is tapped into the universe thus giving her a supply of unending power to share with others. When a woman is lacking power, she will cling to whatever power she can get her fingers on, sometimes stealing it from other people. If you leave an interaction feel lesser of yourself then she took power from you. She needed it and the only way she knew how to get it was to steal it from somebody and today you were the victim. So by pulling herself up, plugging herself into a greater power, she then becomes a simple channel through which great power flows freely to all. Everybody needs it and in this way we give it to each other. Abundance through giving.
It is no great feat to make someone feel weak or bad about themselves. It is easily done and it is not impressive. With nothing more than some unkind words, a thoughtless tone or a stabbing look you can destroy a person's hard earned confidence, pushing them off the edge of self-defeat that they were already balancing on precariously. The greatest challenge and most beautiful gift we can give another human is to welcome them openly into our personal space, share ourselves fully without shame, and greet them as their greatest self, inviting that greatness to come out and play.
....and that is the magic of empowerment. It brings us back to a state in which we believe we can do anything and we feel eager to try new things, unaffected by failure, excited to make new friends, happy to share, free from tension and quick to laugh and celebrate. You can recognize an empowered woman because spending time with her feels as refreshing as playing with a child. You can finally just be yourself again and have fun exploring who you want to become next.
“Whisper an insult and she’ll hear it like a scream. Scream encouragement and she’ll hear it like a whisper. So scream your fucking head off at your friends so they feel encouraged enough to believe in themselves. ”
