This morning I remember the importance of clocking in...my phone auto corrected that to 'clicking in' which actually is more accurate. I turned my metronome (the click) on just after 6am. The windows were black and the streets quiet as I made the first sounds of the morning. First my fingers on keys and an ancient chant from my lips. It felt weak, a little sick and groggy. Not really sure what I'm doing here, up so early, in a studio, playing music for nobody. I though about recording myself to make it seem more meaningful more connected to humanity. Maybe someone will watch it and appreciate it. Is that why I'm here though? I push my phone behind my piano so I can't see it and hope to forget about it. I play scales and rejoice a little that after four years both hands can walk together up and down the D scale. It used to seem impossible and today I did it with my eyes closed and no thoughts. How did my fingers know where to go? I told myself to keep going and here we are sitting on the floor with progress.
There's free parking on Sunday and most people in the building won't be here today or at least not this early, I hope. It's my first Sunday here and the huge ships in the Puget Sound are keeping me company now that the sun is up. I wonder where their cargo is headed. I like living eside I water, I prefer it actually, as I feel very connected to the rest of the earth and her rhythms, knowing the water connects us all. With my commitment to do my work for a solid undisturbed block of 4 hours, I must dig deeper. I play old songs, add more lyrics to the unfinished ones, switch up the order AI usually play them in. A couple hours in my voice is warm and malleable. I can do anything I want with it. This is one of my favorite feelings. Freedom in my voice allows me freedom of expression. I'm excited to see my old acoustic songs resurfacing and to secretly know that they're all going to be rerecorded along with the new acoustic songs I've been working on for the past two years. Funny how they still qualify as new....new for the world. Songs may be like trees then, these ones still look small on the surface and I am the only person who currently feels their growing roots expanding and I can sense how great and powerful they will become. I remember my genius this morning. I am a wordsmith. I'm constantly amazed and overjoyed that I am able to come up with such clever lines. I don't know where this skill comes from but it's strong. I suppose it really is a gift given to me at birth, nurtured somehow through my life experiences and find tuned in my journals. All I can say is I'm surprised how easily I forget my home in songwriting. Just a few hours is all it takes for me to feel alive in these songs and awake in my chosen purpose.
We must give our own life meaning and for years now I've been repeatedly choosing music; songwriting, composing, singing, playing, producing, performing, listening, dancing. I try other things and they're thrilling or terrible for me. Then I lock myself in a studio for 4 hours on a Sunday morning and remember who I am without thinking about myself. I want to feel caught up with myself, to have all my songs released for the world to enjoy and be able to write and release in real time, to be right on the frontier of my creativity, surfing a wave right on the tip of my board. I have some catching up to do to get these old songs out and feel space for the new. I have a couple years in this studio to accomplish that mission. Now, I'm so hungry. I'm going to drive home for my morning yoga, workout and breakfast. I'll also journal and answer emails and such to prepare for the work week ahead. I've got lots of photography clients to connect with who are supporting me financially so I can continue to create art and expand in this space.
Clicking out, cha
