I’ve got people in Ubud now. People in Bali are calling to say they’re going to miss me. “When are you coming back?” is a question I hear from two sides of the globe now.
I have to let go of control. Let go of control. Allow it to be. Focus my energy on the quality of my work.
I love shopping in Bali. It feels so good to trade money for beautiful products and see the boy on the shop keepers faces as they clap their hands together and feel it is their lucky day. They smack the bills on their products a few times as they wave goodbye.
I am changing and I’m afraid you won’t like me as much anymore, or maybe not at all. I know you love the bad girl and now I dress in floral. I know you love impulsive lust full sex and now I ask for gentle Tantra. I know you love meat and I’m ordering vegan now. I know you like to keep it light and duck in diving deeper. Oh well at least I like myself more now. I feel my own beauty now even if you don’t see it anymore. Maybe whatever you were appreciating before wasn’t me or perhaps she really was and she has died or maybe she just grew up or I wonder if she’s hiding in here somewhere.
I’m still eating as much bread as possible. My digestive system has been suffering for over a week and I’ve been living off bread, banana, poached egg, rice, occasional cacao, fruit juice. Body doesn’t feel good. It’s bloating and gathering fat. I’m dreaming of returning to vegetables soon. Toasted ciabatta with butter is my delight; a rare treat for the tastebuds.
November is my birthday month. Can each day include a special adventure? Yesterday was a sunrise jeep ride to the top of Mt. Batur. Today, is the shopping adventure, collecting floral fabrics, wooden bowls, dream catchers and pineapple rings…pretty things from Ubud.
Love & Pretty Rainbows, Cha