A lonely ache lives in my chest, slightly confused and somehow not urgent. The soft wind on my bare skin and the songs of the bird deliver me peace.
I watched the sunset from inside a beach cave, surf rolling in, a Brazilian man beside me trying so hard to “roll in the sand” with me. We laughed as I strongly rejected his advances. I felt my body armor turn on as we spent time together. I’m grateful for this intuitive protection and guidance. My body said no and so I said no to him and his invitation to eat dinner together. A beach cave adventure was enough and I’m off to bed on my own, thank you. So far the Brazilian men I’ve met have been quick to pucker their lips in my direction… skipping right over the flirting and seduction. “Hello my name is ___. Would you like to “roll in the sand with me now?” I say, “No thank you. We literally JUST met and I prefer to know some more for at least more than an hour before I roll in sand with them. Ha!” And he says with a shrug…”but it could be fun, yes?” And I say, “haha yes and still no.”
Tanya, sweet Balinese woman, gave me a massage before I left Uluwatu. I laid on her floor mattress on the cliff top, wind blowing softly across us and her hands were strong. I’m practicing being completely present, listening to every sound I can hear and allowing the sounds and sensations to be all I allow into my awareness. I am focusing right here and now. Everything else may fade away because it is not my here and now. Plans for the future are not my reality. Memories of the past are not my reality. My reality is what my body is sensing right here and now. This moment is life and I am choosing to fully experience it. Life is not mine. I am being an experience of life for a moment until death calls an end to it. So every moment is precious. Every experience is worth having. I am choosing to experience this here and now. Let everything else go go go. I am at peace. — these are my thoughts on the massage bed as the warm hands and wind touch my body.
Through rush hour my taxi driver takes me to the jungle. I leave the surfers and the sun-beaten rugged ocean cliffs behind. I am sad to leave the fresh salty breeze and my curiosity turns me towards the inner mountains of this happy island.
Love & Rainbows, Cha Wilde
This is the artwork I created in Uluwatu…..
