The Mermaid Understands Why We Want Both

On my 34th bday I dressed up as a mermaid and spent the morning lounging on Banana Beach in Phuket, Thailand — sharp rocks poking my booty, waves crashing in around me, legs stuck together, sand in my mouth, crabs crawling past my face as I leaned my cheek on barnacles and squinted into the fire in the sky.


The minute my feet were strapped into the mermaid tail I felt a strong urge to have legs again. I thought to myself, “But how am I going to climb trees now?”

So many mermaid daydreams led me to this moment and suddenly I appreciated being fully human. Perhaps it was posing on a rock that made me realize I’d rather be swimming, playing. I was also in bliss…all I had to do for a couple hours was lay in the sun, sparkling, while a lovely photographer played with the light around me. I meditated as I stared at the blue sky and the soft jungle bushes beneath perfect palm trees. Playing dress up like a little girl, creating in nature like a wild woman…exactly the vibe I love for a birthday morning.

We have a desire to return to the sea, to the water we’ve evolved out of. We have a desire to crawl onto the land, exploring beyond the water that birthed us. A pull out of the water and a pull into the water. A desire for fins and a desire for feet. I want both and this is what makes me human.

I came from the #ocean so I want to go back, to go home. I left the ocean because I was curious what else I could find and I want to keep going. I want to travel and I want to be at home. I want to go back to childhood and I want to keep growing up. I want both because I am human.

Inside of me there is an ocean, inside of me there is a home, inside of me there is a wilderness, inside of me there is unknown. Inside of me is the universe I look into and through and know I am human in a universe beyond me.

This is the metaphor of the mermaid. She’s traveling between two worlds, pulled between them, transforming and longing for all of it. She wants both and that’s what makes her mermaid. The mermaid understands how I feel.

Love & Rainbows, Cha