Fantasy

There is a fantasy about me
A realness I can’t hide
Transparent in the way I breathe
Nothing hides insides
I feel pain when I am smaller
and vanity when I’m big
I ride roller coasters
Thrill of life
I’ve played it small for long enough
My spirit has grown tough
to meet the world outside
and hide the tears I’ve cried
in open air
I pray with colors to feel flirty
I wear lace when I’ve been dirty
Write my poetry to tell the truth in lines
It all more than I wanted
Just leave me on the beach
But waves are rolling in again
I feel it out of reach
Bring me home to somewhere new
When I don’t know what to do
I listen deeper
I listen deeper
Leave me my own
Abandon the damn phone
Let it be enough
to sit with me in silence
Don’t raise your eyebrows
asking questions
I’ve been living in seduction
Friction in the days
I wish I could perform
Sing for the world the way I do when I’m alone
Make the videos sing for me
Truths the way they ring for me
reinvent myself daily
new and new and new
It’s the freshness that excites me
the beauty that delights me