My knees wouldn't stop shaking. I was blinded by the stage lights; my first performance was happening at the Columbia City Theatre. I was scared. I had this idea that in the pursuit of my dreams, I would have to wait until I wasn't afraid anymore. That's not how it works. As much as you want to wait for fear to leave, so you can go do that thing you're afraid of, it won't. If you really want to do 'that thing', you gotta get up there and do it despite the fact you're scared. That confident girl singing up on stage hasn't miraculously overcome fear - she's just as afraid as you are. The difference between her and you (between you and who you want to be) is that she's taking courageous action and just doing it. #justdoit truly is the greatest pearl of wisdom our generation has produced. If you want to do something, the only way it's going to happen is if you take action, with or without fear. If you wait for fear to leave first, you will die before you live your dream. So it's literally do or die.
I have set a goal for myself to do 28 singer-songwriter performances with my guitar this year. I'm scared and I don't feel prepared, I don't think I'm good enough, I'm a little nervous of how I'll appear to others but I'm mainly nervous about not being as perfect as I want to be. Nervous that I'll just be mediocre; nervous to sing my songs and have nobody take notice or care. Nervous that when I put my heart out there no one will be impressed or inspired. I'm nervous to hit the wrong note but I'm terrified to find out that I'm not as special as I want to be. Nervous that I'll always care about what people think and be enslaved to this desire to please and impress. I've been waiting for this fear to leave but I'm starting to think it never will. I have to go up on the stage anyway. I have to go up because I love the music and the challenge more than I fear the fear. I have to just do it and find out what happens. Gulp. // Cha