When I started dating my boyfriend, my self esteem was pretty low. I wanted him to think I was carefree & confident so I faked it in hopes that both of us would start to believe it. He believed it right away because confident is as confident does. It took me a couple months to finally embrace the reality that in the process of acting confident, I actually became confident. Action is the magic sauce that changes your character. Talking about it won't get you as far as walking towards it. Two years later, I've got a new fake it till I make it project and I'm callin' it PROJECT CHILL. I've let stressful feelings fill my entire life to the point where I'm struggling to feel fully happy and bright each day (which is who I am at my core and how I enjoy feeling). So this morning, as the Seattle rain pours outside my window, I'm acknowledging each wave of stress as it rolls in and I'm replace it with a chill feeling. For example, I caught myself rushing around the house and though...what would I be doing right now if I weren't stressed? Probably cuddling in bed reading a book. So I grabbed a book and jumped into bed. I'm hoping that by acting the way I would act if I were relaxed, I will create opportunities for myself to actually become relaxed. In addition to change my behavior, I'm also watching my thoughts. I've already caught dozens of stressful thoughts this morning, deleted them and replaced them with positive chill thoughts. For example, while cooking breakfast for my boyfriend, I thought.....Jesus, I'm swamped with how many tasks I have to do today ahhhh and I'm spending all this time cooking breakfast. Am I wasting my time? Should I just let him feed himself? He never makes breakfast for me. I work best in the morning, will I catch up today for this lost time?...DELETE and replace with....My boyfriend inspires me to be playful and positive. I'm excited we are starting our day together before work. We'll have more fun and be more creative at work because we started the day with a happy and healthy! And so PROJECT CHILL begins, converting one stressful feeling at a time until I don't even have to think about it anymore. // Cha
