“It’s my first time performing in a big show as a DJ. A part of me is nervous to perform for the first time. Another part of me is excited to be making progress as a DJ. Another part of me is proud that I’m being acknowledged and seen publicly. A protective part of me is shutting me down and making me take a nap so I don’t have to feel so overwhelmed by all the other parts that are freaking out about this upcoming performance.”
I ripped the paper out of my journal and handed it to L. It was covered in little bubbles with emotions written inside and lines connecting them. We’d quickly sketched out a parts map. It only took 15 minutes together, sitting on the porch and she was already feeling relief.
“I have a therapist and I like her but I wish she would give me more action items and useful things like this.”
I couldn’t hide my smile. I’ve just finished my first training course in Internal Family System (IFS) and I can’t help but share it with everyone, especially women, especially artists. All the artists I know (including myself) are full of conflicting parts. We are a full spectrum of emotions and somehow we’re supposed to function in society. Most of the time I feel like I’m about to explode with anxiety, pressure to ‘figure it out’, or crumble under the demands of practice and scary bold risky challenges to level up.
By mapping it out and digging deeper, we see all the moving parts. Instead of feeling lost in the swirl of it all, we’re pinning it down outside of our mind. We’re creating a little bit of distance and with that comes space and clarity. We get curious about why each part feels the way it does and what it needs from us to relax and feel playful again.
With IFS in my back pocket, I’m walking around with a pocket full of sunshine, a toolbox of questions that magically open space within us and I feel so able to help creative humans find themSelves and make progress. The parts are taking over and we feel stuck and shut down, totally blocked and terrified to perform. The IFS is so freaking effective! Within 15min I watched my beautiful friend soften around the edges and hope returned to her spirit and confidence smiled on her face again.
I’m so excited to bring this model to more of my friends and fellow artists, to witness the creativity that will undoubtable be unleashed from these simple conversations. I am eternally grateful to my friend Jake who introduced me to Lindsay Rein and I’m eternally grateful to Lindsay for being my first IFS healer and friend who welcomed all my parts.