What would you do with your last hours on earth? Would I lie here at home on the couch and cry? Would I hug my boyfriend tight and not want to let go? Would I go dancing? Would I drive into the mountains? These are all things I would do for me. But what if I thought about how much more I could give to others before my clock runs out? What if I thought about what I squeeze into the remaining minutes - as much as possible so I don't take anything to my grave with me.
I always talk about how I want to bring music to the people, share music around the world and yet here I am at home practicing piano alone. An occasional Youtube video doesn't count as giving my gift to the world. How can I really bring music out to the world...right now? How can I pour muself out using every precious minute, as if I were trying to save as many children from a burning building as possible. I can go sing in the street for people but I feel held back by my lack of skills. I feel like I'm not good enough at the guitar to really be giving a gift to people, I'd be giving medicare music...but perhaps my gift of mediocre music is better than no music and perhaps the act of me giving despite its mediocrity is where the actual gift lies - as an inspiration, showing people that we don't need to be perfect to perform for each other. It's all for joy.