What's the best that could happen?
I could brighten someone's day. I could be scouted by a talent agent. I could be given lots of money. I could get over my fear and have a lot of fun.
I'm sitting in the bathtub right now trying to figure how I'm going to work up the courage to go busking at Pike Place Market. What do I need to think or do differently to drive to the city, carry my guitar to a street corner, take it out of the case and start playing. I feel so awkward. I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. I don't feel ready. I barely have three songs memorized on my guitar. I can hardly coordinate my singing with my guitar playing. Oh God this could be so embarrassing. People could just walk by and judge me hard. I could be that person who totally sucks and everyone knows it. I could be that person that looks like they're trying too hard.
Why does my brain even bother thinking these negative thoughts? Why does my brain not first think of all the positives? Why don't I immediately think, "I get to play guitar and sing outside on a beautiful day, in a beautiful city and bring music into people's lives, surprise them with something pretty that makes them smile. I am that cute girl who is brave enough to perform, even though she's not amazing. I am the girl that other people wish they were. I am an inspiration because I'm letting myself do what I love and I'm just having fun and not taking life too seriously. We're all just people on this ride together. Instead of trying to impress each other, we can just have fun together." Maybe if I repeat this to myself enough times I'll believe it and live it out.
Is that the secret, just feel the fear and do it anyway? Just do it? I think so. Just do it. Phew. Okay, then when..... Tonight? Tomorrow? // Chamonix