I started sharing everything (except for the super secret special things that are moments just for me). All the other stuff though, I just pushed it out there. Keeping it locked inside me was pushing me around too much. I hate being pushed around on the inside. The voices in my head do make me crazy. I let them out and speak them into the air at the right moment and time to the right people in the right place. I speak and they leave me. Suddenly, I’m empty and there is only one voice left. The quiet voice that tells me what to do and I agree. It’s not pushing me to do anything or be different. It’s not convincing me I’m okay or pep talking me. It’s just here with me. We’re just groovy together. All striving ceases. Impressing people, silly now. Racing to keep up, needless. Proving myself, why? What she thinks today will be different tomorrow. What she sells me today, I sold yesterday. Enough of the bullshit. I’m just open now and it all flows through like the rivers from the mountains into the mighty ocean where I plunge when I leap from the cliffs. Fear calls me forward and when I go, we’re groovy. We’re groovy; floating naked in the cool water, adventure in my lungs. I’ve stripped myself down and I like myself raw like this, exposed to the elements for all to see. It’s just me and the trees staring up the stars as they stare down at us. Even with all the eyes on me, I know I am alone forever in this body and frankly, I like it better out here. I’m skinny dipping in life, in this universe I am. No more clothes to cover my soul. Everything knocking on my mind may enter and exit. Let it flow, babe. I’m just here, bobbing on the surface, staring at the clouds. I love the blue sky, don’t you? What a day to be alive and leave it at that!
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