People can see straight into my room, all the paintings on the floor. I just realized this after two weeks at the Hilltop Wellness Resort in Phuket, Thailand. Two weeks of smearing fluorescent paint onto canvases to create rainbow sunsets, inspired by the ocean evenings so remember in Krabi. I hardly saw one sunset in Phuket; I came here to settle, write, restore health into my travelled body, and express all the feelings that have been a burden heavier than my bags; out they flow into paint and I’m laughing and crying and loving the colors. Deep delightful joy sings in my body when I walk into a room full of paintings I’ve created. A studio…for a moment.
The torrential downpour holds me inside the old colorful buildings. I don’t have an umbrella or plastic outfit to wear. Just Jean shorts, a crochet top and a sarong. It was sunny when I walked into Ryn — my favorite spot in old Phuket is an authentic Japanese matcha tea house. They happily know me now. I cross their threshold and my drink order is already being made. Oh, to be recognized is sometime so easily taken for granted when we are at home. As I wander this world now, no one knows my face. The matcha Barista whose name I still cannot pronounce knows my face and for this I love her and travel through too much traffic on the hotel shuttle for one or two big cups of matcha, oat milk, hot, no sugar, a smile, a giggle, a bow.
I got one ounce of work done in the cafe and hunger and dehydration destructed me and destroyed my plans. I wanted to buy more water, protein powder, energy supplements and fresh fruit. I came into town to gather supplies to support my returning fitness routine and nutrition plan. I was so hungry and rain drenched that I mindlessly stocked up on vegan protein bars and cashew nuts. I purchased more rainbow fabric (I’ll never acquire too much). I bought a kombucha for gut health and almond milk for tomorrow’s homemade hotel room matcha. My shoulders hurt from carrying my computer on my back and slightly regretted this entire draining trip to town. Perhaps I ought to have stayed by the pool. I caught the shuttle home during rush hour traffic, cursed as we crawled by the fruit market I had forgotten to visit and the deep sinking simmering realization arrived that I would wake up tomorrow without dragonfruit or mango to sustain me. It is tiring living in a resort, far away from the market, dependent on a restaurant and housekeeping. The resort holds me in quiet peace and supports deeper rest. The market comforts my daily needs and little unplanned purchases. I miss the fresh ocean air. I love the infinity pool looking out across the islands. This fortnight birthday wellness treat has indeed given me wellness, a taste of still home-like life, a reminder of home chores like commuting and larger shopping trips, an ever growing clarity that I love being so close to the ocean, no too far from her for not too long.
Another Tum Yom soup please, every night. The waitress knows me too. “You like Tum Yom, yes? Every night you have.” We laugh. I’m excited to try making it myself. I participated in a Thai cooking class last week. I learned to make each of the dishes I most enjoy at the restaurants here. Tom Yum was top of list, beside papaya salad, pad Thai, red curry and mango sticky rice. When I first arrived in Thailand I was only familiar with pad Thai. Oh, how my pallet has explored and expanded!!
Love and Rainbows,
Cha Wilde