SHE RADIATES HER LIGHT FOR THE WORLD
SHE RADIATES HER LIGHT FOR THE WORLD
I’ve given in to my childish temptation to throw away my graceful adultness. Sulking into shadows, denying anyone the satisfaction of cheering me up, refusing to share my gifts with my family, too stubborn to enjoy myself, to enjoy ME and all the light that I know I can shine. How exhausting it is being a black hole. Before quarantine, I was dancing on my couch in lingerie, blasting music for the neighborhood, sunbathing naked, playing with my pirate sword. What happened? Why am I on guard? Did my soul go into lock down too? My throat closed up. There’s a rock in my chest. Eye contact is like trying to push the wrong sides of magnets together. Creativity, those magical vibrations that loves to free flow through my body, is sadly clogged in my pours. I’m trapped inside my body, festering, unexpressed.
Before quarantine, I was splashing in solitude, space and silence. Now people can hear me and watch me work and this means they can see inside me. We’re living on top of each other and everybody is at home all day long. My work is not invisible; it’s captivating and I cannot escape attention in my most vulnerable moments of play. The inescapable pressure to be open and so seen, even among loved ones, is enough to scare the most courageous artist into her darkest corners.
For years, I’ve run away from home, breaking cages and jumping off cliffs into bohemian adventures. So free out there in the world, expanding. Singing my soul secrets to strangers. Now, in this home again, with these people again, I contract. I fall into the old ways. My weaknesses plague my mind. I’m moody. I remember the feeling of being too shy to perform and it takes over my body again. Did I walk back into the cage or am I smashing through the last remaining bars? One more push and it will be gone forever. Perhaps quarantine, is the blessing; shoving me into close quarters with my vulnerability until I give up my childish clingings and shine for everyone. Will quarantine be my chance to learn compassion? To break my ego? Will I finally let go of how things have always been, how I’ve always reacted and finally step forward fresh? Will I finally do the things I’ve imagined and refused for so long to take seriously?
As the world changes around you, it doesn’t matter where you live, who you are with or what you are doing. Right now, you can close your eyes and find yourself inside. This moment of darkness, this moment when your soul is wrestling, uncomfortable, this moment when you hate on everything and everyone around you, this is the moment of your greatest opportunity! The doorway to your new way of being is wide open, right now, if only you’ll walk through it. Will you? Step forward differently than you did yesterday and the gateway will welcome you as you create your evolution. Gather up your goodness and radiate your glow. Your cold blood will warm up. The rock in your chest will dissolve if you return to your breath. Now is the time to let go of the shell. You don’t think you can and yes, you can. The shell keeps away the love and freedom for which you’ve been longing. Imagine the sun. She never holds back from shining! Are you grateful for her light?
We are certainly grateful for your light. Please shine for us.
Repeat after me: “The freedom and delight in my soul is fucking marvelous. I let go of my shell so I may shine love and freedom. Nothing kills my vibe.”
May we all radiate our light for this world. She is with you and I love you.
CHA 🍍 WILDE
