SHE WALKS ALONE TO STAY CONNECTED
I sat in the middle of the street and stared at the full moon. My husband walked away back to the house. At first, I was sad to feel him leave but then a mysterious weight lifted off me. I was alone out here. So much time in quarantine, in the house, with the same people, all day long. I’m grateful to the constant company and solitude has become sweet. How would I feel if I were in solitary quarantine, alone in an apartment for weeks, like my cousin in Wes in LA or my friend Emi? Is the loneliness too painful? I’ve felt too lonely. Last summer, my car was broken and my roommates all went to work and I was home alone day after day, making music. I would go on a walk/run each day and have dinner with Davey but that was the most variety I had. Back then I wasn’t even using technology to stay in touch with people. I was straight up isolating and my mental health marched downhill. I suppose the only difference is that this year everyone else is in quarantine with me. The entire planet is in quarantine together. All of us are always ‘in quarantine’ inside our own bodies. From the moment we’re born until the moment we die (or until Tesla invents a way for us to body travel), we are stuck in this one body we wake up with each morning. All of our thoughts, feelings, creative energy, love is in this one body that you have. If you are in quarantine with other people, I invite you to step outside and walk alone. If you are alone in quarantine, I invite you to step outside and walk alone with all of us who are outside walking alone with you. Walk alone on the earth, perhaps barefoot, and feel how many blades of grass are tickling your feet and shaking your hand. Smile at the stars and the sunshine. Kiss the wind as she arrives to play with your hair and stroke your soft cheek. Walk alone to stay connected. In your solitude and meditation you find peace of mind, sense of self and strength of soul. I am outside walking alone with you. She is with you and I love you.
CHA 🍍 WILDE
