Wherever people are (working) barefoot, this is a good sign.
There are cats slinking around every corner.
They call me sunshine.
I’m rae-diating.
I feel eyes watching me.
I am the space that everyone, especially men, eagerly fill.
This is a good way to spend time; on a boat in the Andaman sea.
If every moment brings a memory,
is there space in my memory for this moment? Moments are sharing memories; is this moment for remembering, is this moment to be remembered or is this moment to be fully lived and fully forgotten. This moment is enough without memory. Memories can increase meaning of moments. Moments are still worth experiencing even without memory. Memories are just extra layers; not entirely necessary for good life.
I am just life enjoying itself.
I am life enjoying being alive.
I am life in love with itself.
When I am with the ocean I feel I am finally in the presence of someone / something as deep as I am. The ocean isn’t afraid of my depth. Finally, someone who is just as deep as I am. She can hold all of me as I explore both of us.
I used to fear the ocean, fear because my beneath the surface, feel getting trapped down below and not being able to breathe and suffering the suffocating pain. With proper training, now I can submerge fully and play, more alive because I went down. The ocean, my soul, they are the same. There is no need to fear our depths, the depths within us and the depths from which we have come. The entire universe is depth in all directions for us to explore. Take a deep breath and slowly let it out as you sink deeper into the water, into the SOMA, into everything that is. Diving in the ocean has taught me how to dive within myself with beautiful skill.
I’m not afraid anymore to go deeper, to feel deeper, to swim into the unknown, to look around and see nothing but blue. It’s peaceful now. What used to terrify me is now my peaceful home.
For years I felt the calling. I’d wake up every morning and write in my journal, asking myself … “if you could do anything today, what would it be? No limitations.” … my answer was always “go to the ocean, the beach.” And “drive a Miata”. That’s it. Drive a Miata drive I the beach and dive into the water. I just want to play and do twirls underwater. I’m a mermaid with a sports car. The Miata makes my time on land, my surface interval, more fun.
The ocean is perhaps the only being who can match my level of peace. Everyone else seems to ask something of me, from me. The ocean just lets me be. She’ll take me as I am in all my states. We can just be together. The ocean and me, we look the same on the inside; endless watery depths, quiet and soft within and sparkling on the surface, able to hold and play.
I asked and prayed for a life partner who could meet me at the depth I feel like swimming. I looked at the faces of all the men and women and then my feet turned toward the beach and I swam off into the ocean. I think the ocean is the source of all my life and the only who can truly understand me and where I’m coming from and what I’m made of and why I’m still here going strong. The ocean, the ocean.
Love & Rainbow Bubbles,
Cha Wilde
