LRYICS
Maybe I really am naïve
Watch me get my hopes high
Maybe I fell in love again
With the wrong guy
What do I gotta do around here
for a little bit of sushi and some sexy lingerie
What do I gotta do around here
for a little bit more sushi and some sexy lingerie
Put paint on my skin
Give me attitudes that win at la la la la life
Drip me in some chocolate
Leave me there till noon
La la la la la la
Sometimes I forget the power in myself
Sometimes I just sit there like I’m rotting on a shelf
Maybe I really am naïve
Watch me get my hopes high
Sometimes I just sit there like I’m
Ay ya ya ya
I’d eat sushi everyday
If my credit card would pay
But they ask me to pay them back
la la la la life
CREATIVE TEAM
Cha Wilde: Lyrics, Vocals, Melody, Recording, Piano, Production, Mixing
JOURNAL
I thought about quitting ALL DAY. ANOTHER day where I felt like stopping this whole project. My body feels like a pressure cooker from the pressure of having to make a new song each day. All the production is intense. Maybe it would be wise for me to focus in even closer on lyrics and keep the instruments even more simple, guitars and pianos is enough. I really enjoy fleshing the songs out though with fun sounds to bring it to life. My brother said it’s good that I’m keeping the, simple but still adding a little vibe. This will be more inspiring for productions who listen and want to collaborate. The simple fun sounds I’m adding will give them direction. Since working with producers is on my list of next steps this is good feedback.
For today’s song though I embellished and played around more extensively. Normally I write lyrics first but today I made the drum beat first and then added piano songs then I just held the mic in my hand and sang random lyrics. I sang the lyrics in small chunks and then after I’d come up with random chunks of lyrics I sat down, listened through and started arranging them into something that made some kind of funny sense. Davey laughed when he heard this one for the first time. He thinks it’s strange but dope. I like this weird song because it lifted my mood a little on a rough mental day. I’m glad I didn’t quit today. I’m glad I got to create this funny song. I thought about quitting until I was halfway through this song. Then I could see the finish line so I felt hope that I’d be able to finish before 8pm and actually take the night to rest.
I also got a couple messages from friends today that really boosted me. One soul sister said she was inspired by me doing through project and it was helping her launch her business. Another soul sister said me doing this project is helping her focus on her music project too and she’s grateful I’m putting in this work to becoming a better songwriter because it’s going to benefit her in the future when we make music together. Knowing that the women I love so much are cheering me on and it’s actually helping them in their lives refuels my gas tank. I can keep going another day for them…and for myself.
For myself… my resistance is making me want to quit and it’s making me realize how much I’ve quit and how that habit of quitting has weakened me. I’ve taken on a giant project to challenge myself into changing myself. I choose to grow into a more focused powerful version of myself that follows through, finishes what I start, shows up for myself, is willing and capable of good hard work, and empowered to lead by example. Growing is hard. Focusing is heartbreaking as I say NO to many things I love right now. I comfort myself by promising myself I’ll enjoy many passions and experiences throughout my life. This project won’t go on forever. I’m deep in the thick of it right now and we’ll get through and be better for it. The victory and growth will make all the other pleasures all the more enjoyable when I turn to them again.
love, cha
PS: After eating dinner I realized that this whole blog post is basically me complaining. I’ve been making a habit of complaining. No thanks. No more. It’s not helping. So let’s make a new habit starting right now. Celebrating with gratitude. So… today I am celebrating that I continued, I kept going, I finished another song and overcame the obstacles on my path. I am grateful Davey is still here helping me with songs everyday and supporting me in our home life. I am grateful I still have a gorgeous giant studio to create in and relax in solitude. I am grateful I have friends who encourage me and I am grateful for all the years of hard work I’ve already invested in my music skills. It’s got me this far. I’m grateful for all my natural talents and opportunities given to me. I’m excited for tomorrow as a new day, a new song and new lessons to learn. I’m grateful that I live a life that allows me to create music, share public ally and use my voice however I want. I feel pretty safe to express myself and I’m grateful I live in an age with all this cool technology for creating!