I drove into the wilderness with my recording equipment and set up on a fallen log. For 2 hours I sang to the mountains and felt so grateful for modern technology making it possible for me to create in the wild! I was recording up near North Bend, Washington using a Focusrite Scarlett 2i4. It's fascinating singing outdoors because it feels so strange at first. It feels like you're out of place, like you're not supposed to sing there or something. What if someone sees me? And then, suddenly you realize OMG this is the perfect place to sing. If anyone finds me they'll be so excited by the surprise! I feel way more connected to the world when I'm creating outside. I'm like a songbird on a tree. Try it. ;) x CHA
Yoga Classes are Bootcamp for Performing Musicians
I sit in the corner and jam out a songstress enchanting yoga students into chill magical vibes. Yoga classes are like performance bootcamp for a musician. Not only are they a low-pressure intro to performing (everyone is so chill and grateful that you're there, the yoga students are a very forgiving crowd to play for), but they require a lot of juggling. Not only do you have to face the fear of stage fright, you have to remember your own songs, silently coordinate with the yoga teacher (taking turns talking and singing), pay attention to the students energy and which songs would fit the speed of their movements and listening to the messages being taught by the teacher so the songs I'm singing align. The room is also deep silent so when you sing, you have to have the confidence to cut through the silence and they can hear every detail of your voice and guitar. One wrong note and it's super clear to everyone; but like I said, they're forgiving. Classes are also 1-2 hours long so I have to build endurance with performing and often I get sweaty and my arms stick to the guitar and my legs get sore on the ground. The whole thing is a lot to juggle. After this bootcamp, performing on stage out in town feels easy peasy. Like....you mean I get to stand up, sing all my songs without distractions or having to pay attention to people doing yoga and it only lasts 30 minutes. Well hell yah. haha
The most awesome part about performing for yoga classes is that I get to go to cool places. I've performed at a retreat on Orcas Island, at a rooftop studio in Burien that had views over the Pudget Sound, at an A-frame cabin at Snoqualmie Pass in the Cascade Mountains, in cute little studios in the countryside with dope acoustics. Yoga happens in cool places and I get to go on adventures! So fun.
My Favorite Way to Sit When Playing Music in Yoga Classes
I'm particular about how I sit when I play music. As a musician, teacher and perform, awareness of body language, posture & movement patterns is important to having control over what you're feeling & communicating. Your body is sending subconscious messages to your own brain & other people and we can use our brain to control our bodies to shift these feelings, experiences & outcomes. In a nutshell, here are my thoughts on how I sit & why when I'm performing for yoga classes.
Making Out with the Microphone for the First Time
My first time opening out in the city! It was a latin themed night at the Funhouse and I got to go first with all my original songs. I got so lost in the feelings of ON THE WEEKLY that I bumped into the microphone when I hit the big chorus. I was so excited to be performing without fear and my energy was almost frenetic. Thank you so much to my best friends who all came to support me. I love looking out into the crowd and seeing friendly faces smiling at me -- especially Davey, my husband, who kept tapping his feet on the ground to help me keep the beat (which I always seem to lose haha). I watched his feet tapping and strummed along. Thank you babe. ;) x Cha
The Cha Wilde Pineapple Obsessions
My entire life I've been obsessed with pineapples and I don't even like how they taste. My childhood bedroom door had a pineapple door knocker, my pillows cases in college, the ring I wear on my right hand, I moved to Hawaii and hung out in pineapple plantations, the logo for my business...they're all pineapples. Wtf? So now, no surprise, pineapples are a symbol of the Cha Wilde brand. They represent welcoming, acceptance, friendliness. They are so tropical and fun and I want everyone to feel happy and welcomed when they arrive in Cha Wilde land. Everyone gives me pineapple things now and it's fun for my friends and I to brainstorm ways to incorporate pineapples into the brand.
Is This What It Looks Like to Follow Your Dreams?
I'm ready to punch my cat in the face. She won't stop meowing but poor thing it's because she's hungry. She's hungry because I can't easily afford to buy her wet food right now. I'm now barista-ing in a coffee shop part time, doing a few photo shoots on the side and pouring my energy into creating music. I walked around the neighborhood in the rain this morning; my mind circling around what the fuck I'm doing. I could start up my photography business again, clients are eager to hire me and I'm basically leaving money on the table. Crazy?
A year ago I decided to shut down the photography business and go down the music path. I accidentally started a new photography business one month after making that decision. It went well and new was exciting but one year later, I'm back in the same spot...shut down the photography businesses (plural this time) and focus on music. I learned a lot this past year working with new photography clients (small businesses instead of families) and my music skills have increased. I can accompany myself on guitar, jam with other people, sing with more confidence, perform publicly without shriveling into the corner, improvise on piano, record & produce my own music, make my own music videos, write songs that get stuck in people's heads and actually keep a beat! Fuck ya! Success is progress.
BUT there are still no pennies in the bank. I earned a lot of money this year through photography but it all gets sucked into debt repayments, unexpected stuff (like getting married, cars breaking down etc...) and rent. Getting the job in the coffee shop is a nice change of pace - it's refreshing to just show up and get paid and then go home with no strings attached. But it's painful to take this massive pay-cut. I earn $100/hr as a photographer and I earn $11/hr as a barista. It was just too much for me to run a photography business all day and then build a music career by night. Too much creative output left me drained, stressed, disconnected from people and constantly feeling insecure and worn-out. Just the discipline alone to practice musical instruments will annihilate my energy, so it was torture trying to do it after a long day of work. So anyway, here I am writing this blog post on Thanksgiving morning...my hair is still wet from the morning walk and I'm asking myself, "Is this what it's all about? Is this what they're talking about when they say ---
"I quit my job, I had no money in the bank, I had no idea what the fuck I was doing or if anything I as doing would pay off, but I kept going even though it didn't make sense to anybody else. I kept going because I had this clear vision in my head of what I wanted and it didn't even make sense to me why. I just knew it was the only option, the only thing that I could be at peace with, the only thing I was willing to sacrifice for. I felt crazy but I kept going. I felt irresponsible but I kept going. I kept doubting myself and feeling really tempted to go back and get my old job back and have that paycheck again. I felt like everyone was watching my every move. I felt naive, foolish, idealistic, selfish. I constantly doubted if I should listen to my intuition or if my intuition is actually just a chemical reaction in my stomach triggered by fear or fanciful sentiments...not actually any solid guidance or source of greater wisdom. I was making big life decisions based on a little voice in the back of my head that told me to just keep going. I constantly questioned if I was fooling myself. Did I actually like this life path or just the idea of it? But I just kept going because I wanted to see what would happen if I did."
--- Is this what they're talking about when they say follow your dreams? Because if so, then I'm deep in it and I wonder how I'll get out. // Cha
Giving Myself Permission to "Begin anew with Passion"
I show up at Friendsgiving this weekend and Sarah Sue asks me if I'd like to make a potion. Umm...yes. She directs me to her medicine cabinet of wild herbs and I hold my hands in the air, "feeling the energy". Which jars of dried leaves do I feel most attracted to. Are my hands tingling? Do I sense a heaviness? I don't know what the fuck I'm doing but I'm game. I ended up choosing rosehips and yarrow and Sarah Sue brewed a medicine tea for me as we talked about spirit animals and the new moon energy that was apparently floating through the air in full force. This year I have accidentally surrounded myself with a bunch of these beautiful star-gazing people. My new friends are medicine women, yogis, woo-woo sisters who read their horoscopes and tell me my recent meltdowns might have something to do with my "Saturn's return". Okay. Cool. I trust them more than I trust the government or food industry these days, so why not? So this new moon... Sarah Sue pointed me in the direction of the "Mystic Mama" blog where I later that night I read about how this moment is all about destruction, letting go and death so that we can take risks, begin anew with passion, reclaim freedom and power and heal. Sounds good to me. I'm closing down my photography businesses (death) and diving into my music career (new start) and I have been carrying around so much residual stress that it's JUST dawned on me that I'm allowed to have fun with my work again. For a long while there, I felt so torn between running my old business and starting my new one that I struggled to step out of bed in the morning. Too much to do, not enough time or energy and fuck it all, I wasn't having fun with anything anymore. So I just took a two week vacation (haven't taken a vacation like this in years - staycation alone, doing anything I want and almost no technology) and I told myself that this was the turning point. Before the vacation I was a photographer who wanted to be a musician. After the vacation, I am a musician who does some photography projects on the side. Music is the new business that gets all my attention and with that clarity, I am allowed to be excited when I wake up each day. I don't have to feel guilty about doing what I really want to do. I am allowed to begin anew with passion. // Cha
The new moon on Nov 18, 2017 was in Scorpio.
"Scorpio is intimate with the natural cycles of death, rebirth and transformation."
“If you can take a risk, be vulnerable and make a bid for power at this time, you just may come away feeling more passionately alive…”
"Scorpio is our ally to destroy, eliminate, let go in order to heal the past, recreate, begin anew with passion…”
“Deep healing is possible right now but it requires we move through a deep, cathartic death process (metaphorically speaking). Stay the course!”
Quotes taken from Mystic Mama NEW MOON in Scorpio November 18th 2017
**photos taken on train journey from Wenatchee to Seattle -- a peaceful return to something new at the end of my two week vacation.
Singing Like an Obese Native American Mouse to Create Interesting Vocal Samples
Have I gone too far? I'm standing in a corner of a home recording studio, behind a Japanese screen divider, pretending to be an giant obese mouse who is sneaking up on a tribe of Native Americans chanting around a firepit in the forest and I'm attempting to blend in by making mouse-chanting noises so I can sneakily make my way over to the snack table. Um....yah. So this was my first attempt at making strange sound samples for music recording. I'm half embarrassed and half crackin' up. I worked with Yuxxi today creating a Drum & Bass track with my vocals. Before ending our session, I wanted to experiment with making some sounds, just for the fun of it to see if anything cool would come out of my mouth. I started off super lame, going through the alphabet to make sounds for each letter. Half way through I stopped and asked, "Is any of this useful for you?" I got a flat NO. Great. Yuxxi explained how he does it (he's a master at making strange sounds and turning them into killer beats) -- you gotta get deep into character and then make your voice sound as unlike human as possible. Then you'll start to get some really interesting synth-like sounds that add texture to your music. Until you're really being that character, the sounds are just empty and meh. On my drive home, in the privacy of my Miata I continued practicing until I started to make progress. I gotta say, when I started my music career I was not picturing that a typical day in the life would involve making abstract Native American mouse noises as I drive down the freeway. // Cha
Staying Focused on Music Even When Money is Tight
"I have an idea!" Davey hugs me from behind as we walk down the river path and I tell him about my vision for a podcast that interviews musicians. What a great way to meet fellow artists, network in the music industry and build some passive income. "Ok, if that's what you want," he says. Hmmm....not the response I was hoping for. "What do you think?" It starts to rain and I look at him. "It sounds like a distraction to me," he says coolly. "I think what you really want to do is your music and you're thinking of things like podcasts as possible ways to get you to your goals but really something like a podcast is more of a side-step or a distraction. You want to create the music and improve your performance and there is so much work to be done there." Hmmm... he's right. I've been looking at my goals, my bank account and my skills; searching for a creative fun way to tick all the boxes. How do I make money and build my music career at the same time without having to split my attention in different directions. Is it possible? Everything feels like a distraction (even writing this blog is time not spent practicing music...but documentation is important to me and a girl can't play guitar 24hs a day). I'm facing the reality check that my goals are big bad boys that demand full time attention and it's gonna mean a few months or even year (hopefully not more than that) of super financial tightness. I'm not going to be able to make money doing other projects or jobs because music demands all my time and energy, as much as I can give. I've tried doing a day job and playing music by night. I've tried doing both full time, both half time, sprinkling and weaving them together. As of this month though, the universe as shifted and I am now entirely focused on building my music career. My other money making projects are now classified as side jobs and this is a new adjustment for me. When I wake up in the morning the first and foremost is music. The other jobs are saved for "after work." When money feels tight I do start to panic a little and I brainstorm new businesses I can start (like podcasts) but my husband knows me enough (thank goodness) to step in as my coach and keep my eye on the prize. Sometimes you just need someone else to remind you that the crazy risky way is the right way for you and it's like the shotgun firing, telling you it's time to start running. // Cha
Taking Down the Post-It Notes to Create a Home Music Recording Studio
"Maybe you don't need them anymore," said Laura. We were sitting on a cold rooftop drinking hot tea, darkness above us and car lights below. She was talking about the post-it notes all over the walls of my music room. I wrote down every compliment and encouragement I received - little pep talks to keep me motivated as I practice music. The past year of teaching myself to play piano and produce music as required a lot of discipline and self doubt keeps rearing it's ugly head. In the moments when I stare down at my tired hands and wonder what the fuck I'm doing with my life, I'd look up at the wall and read, "Cha has got the voice!" or "Your voice is magical." and that little dopamine release would keep me going. If other people believe I can do this, then so can I. But sipping tea on the roof, I realized I never read the post-it's anymore. Somewhere along the line, I let the positivity soak into my bones and I actually believe in myself now. In fact, the post-it notes were actually harming me now because when I walk into the music room I am surrounded by the thoughts of a wannabe musician, a child artist who is struggling to believe in herself and so she constructed a den of inspiration and encouragement. Well, it worked. Just like a kid growing up who rips posters off their wall and replaces them with fine art work and family portraits, I've matured as an artist and now I'm ready to convert the den into a professional studio. The walls are blank. The instruments are organized. We've cleared the way for creation. The room used to have energy circling around and around, positive affirmations and rambling ideas and visions. Now it's spacious and clear, a vessel for something greater to swoop in. No distractions. Just the music. I don't have to convince myself I'm an artist anymore, now I just am. I have a lot of shit to do and nothing is so sweet as a blank slate. // Cha
-- BEFORE --
-- AFTER --
GoFundMe to Upgrade My Music Production Software
THE TOOLS
Hey! I'm Cha Wilde and I'm a singer-songwriter in Seattle. I'm going to use the funds to upgrade my music editing software (Ableton Live) to a more advanced version that will allow me to produce my music at a more professional level. I want to release albums and get my songs on Spotify/iTunes, the radio, and licensed for films/television. In order to do this, I need higher quality music production software that will allow me to dive deeper into learning, experimenting and fine-tuning. I'm teaching myself the music production process and I've hit a ceiling with the tools I currently have. I'm waiting on this new software to move forward with my projects so I'm gathering the funding as quickly possible.
THE BIG DREAM
I have a dream of performing at the Gorge Amphitheater one day. I close my eyes and feel myself on the stage. I see the black sky, the stage lights warm on my skin, my index finger drops onto the A5 key on my piano and the crisp note pierces the night air, the crowd falls into silence and goosebumps rise. There is a girl somewhere out in the audience who knows my story and she looks at me over the hundreds of heads. She has a dream, maybe different than mine, and her heart swells with gentle enthusiasm as she thinks, "She did. So can I." I was that girl once. I was watching Oh Wonder perform at the Gorge in 2016. I saw Josephine Vander Gucht laughing on stage as the wind blew her dress up and I saw myself there. I saw an invitation to be free, to come play, to create, to become the artist and the leader I've always wanted to be. All I had to do was say yes and make it happen. I want to live in a world where people go after their dreams and I believe I must be the change that I wish to see in the world. I will be one of the ripples that spreads hope that dreams can come true.
THE WORK
That dream is just a guiding star to help me navigate my moves. The day to day journey, the actual waters that I sail through are the reality. I'm leaving behind a career in the photography industry that I've been building for 7 years and I'm diving into the music industry. These are some of the challenges I've been facing so far: changing my identity (I have to introduce myself as a musician now and that's new and uncomfortable), learning skills that are WAY easier to learn as a kid (still kicking myself for giving up piano lessons), facing fears of appearing foolish for dreaming (get a real job!), feeling stressed from starting from scratch, throwing away financial security and not being able to afford things (like music production software lol) for the foreseeable future, feeling like a crazy artist can be lonely and creating new habits requires insane amounts of discipline that leave me drained most days. In addition to recording music & performing, I have visions for composing film scores, writing custom songs for people, mentoring young women to help build their confidence through music, leading artist retreats to help musicians explore their creativity in a safe place, and writing and speaking about the power of music, facing fears, and going after dreams. The first step though is learning to record my own music so I can share it with the world and get the ball rolling. Every day I have to remind myself that I can do this -- my dad told me I can do whatever I want if I'm willing to work for it and I've always believed him. It's going to be worth it because it makes me so happy and the music will go out into the world with an agenda of its own - to heal, inspire, enliven and connect in ways I surely don't expect. This is the first time in my life where I really feel I am being used (or possessed more like) by something greater than myself - the music just flows through me as a gift to the rest of the world. I can't take credit for the songs - I don't know where they come from. I can only take credit for my willingness to show up and do the work because I believe the dream is worth following.
THANK YOU FOR GIVING
I am feeling vulnerable and out of my comfort zone to ask for financial help from other people but I also believe that a core part of being human is giving generously and taking generously. A healthy human knows how to ask for help when they need it so they can rise and give back twofold. It's a circle that fuels everybody who participates. So today, with deep gratitude I ask you to give me funds, so tomorrow I can give you music. // Cha
Order Something Lemony at the Bar to Reduce Decision Making Stress
"Something lemony!" I say to the bartender with a sparkle in my eye.
He hesitates and asks "Vodka...Gin...Tequila...?"
"You choose. Pull out your bartender wizard wand and surprise me!" (That sounded dirtier than I intended).
After a long day of decision making --- which Instagram filter? how to respond to this client? when should I schedule that meeting? which project should I focus on? salad or chocolate? tea or coffee? --- I'm over it.
No more decisions please. I'm tired and I just want a drink and a good conversation with my girlfriend.
Do you ever sit down at the bar and scan your eyes over the bottles up on the wall...imagining what they'll taste like, remembering past drinks you've liked, debating over how much to pay for a cocktail, worrying about how much sugar is going to be secretly dumped into the glass? Nikki and I are sitting at the bar in Matador -- a Mexican themed restaurant in Redmond, WA aka the only watering hole in this bedroom neighborhood where I'm actually willing to splash some pennies --and we're excited to see what drink the bartender invents for me. He slides it over and declares it a "Spicy Lemon" (say it with a French Accent) - it was vodka based lemon cocktail with cayenne pepper and mint leaves. Spiciness in a cocktail was new for me and it brought a smile to my face. This is the third time I've challenged the bartender to make me something lemony and every time it's a totally different drink. This little game has totally eliminated the stress of ordering. I don't have to search through a menu, wrack my brain, or feel responsible for making the right/wrong beverage choice. #noregrets This little trick is adding happiness to my life because it turns drinking into a game like 'White Elephant' -- the secret Santa Christmas game where everyone buys a random present and then people draw a number out of a bag to pick a present and then people can trade and battle for the gift they want.... WAY MORE FUN than traditional gift giving because it's lighthearted, removes responsibility, and sprinkles the room with surprise! I'm getting introduced to new drinks I would have never thought to order, it sparks fun conversations with bartenders and friends, and it gives me a little "adventure bite" (i.e. a mini experiment or new experience that makes life more interesting). This season it's lemon inspired drinks and next season who knows? Maybe I throw the bartenders a curve ball and ask for drinks that have pomegranate or fresh cracked pepper?!
Which surprise drinks are you ordering for yourself? Let me know so I can try it! // Cha
