The Last of the Paint in Remaining Thoughts

“Over the zone of my comfort
Under the surface I know
Out on my own in my own way
It’s good if it’s making me grow”

— new Cha Wilde lyrics on the way

Will you understand if I want to focus on songwriting, to improve as a musician, play with paint, dive into water and become mermaid? I want free flow of energy and space to create playfully. Energy and space to teach what I know. A part of me feels forced to share. She doesn’t want to. Parts feel fear of being sucked into old energy. There is so much tension in my body when I play music and when I paint I’m all loose playfulness. The music hits blockages the painting doesn’t. Musician part feels sidetracked by painting and writing and yoga parts who have grown the business. Need more focused flow time in music studio. Need to let go of dreams. So what do I let go of now? The important thing is to be in flowing beautiful positive energy. What feels most playful? Go there. That’s where god is hanging out waiting for you. Keep it simple. Natural pattern of expansion and contraction. Chaos and order. I am free to create.

A part of me feels forced to share. She doesn’t want to. Parts feel fear of being sucked into someone else’s energy. Suffering rises from prolonged indecision.

There is so much tension in my body when I play music, especially my jaw. When I paint I’m all loose playfulness. The music hits blockages the painting doesn’t.

Parts of me feel tension when I’m told I’m a life coach or going to be famous. I want to make art and be with people. I want to go with flow. Some of my parts don’t like other people barging in and telling me about my life and my future.

Love & Rainbows,
Cha Wilde