DAY 14: love and fuck feat. Davey Browne

LYRICS
Watch the window
lose my mind
wait for something
fall behind
if I wander
would you wander with me
sip it slowly
slip in slowly and free
All I want is to love and fuck.

CREATION TEAM
Cha Wilde: Lyrics, Melody, Vocals, Recording, Production
Davey Browne: Guitar
Jake Tacher: Encouragement, Percussion Adjustments

JOURNAL
can we actually make a song today? My head feels fuzzy after party. I didn’t sleep much but I feel chill and content. Whatever song I make today will be chill and raw. I woke up with one thought in my mind “ALL I WANT IN LIFE IS TO LOVE & FUCK”. So I made my only thought into my song. Keep it simple. If it’s bubbling up naturally…go with it.

I’ve noticed I’m still a little stiff when people are in the room and I’m creating a new song. The creative process is so intimate and vulnerable. I feel confident performing a finished song but I’m shy and slow to warm up if someone is hearing me create from scratch. “What if I sound stupid?” Is the fear. The really good music comes from me when I’m lose and experimental. So this is my lesson right now. I am learning how to be lose and vulnerable in front of other artists. I’m learning to let people watch me give birth in all it’s messy gorgeous magic.

Love, cha

DAY 12. Free Summer feat. Davey Browne

LYRICS

Give me that old school kick back holiday inn
How about that old cool laid back varsity grin

You threw your panties at me
I threw my panties away
You spent you summer at sea
I spent my summer so free

All of your girlfriends like that let them all in
All of the guys like me don’t let me win

You threw your panties at me
I threw your panties away
You spent you summer at sea
I spent my summer so free

Free Summer Free

Before the Wi-Fi sky high got in the way
I did that lofi sci-fi nerdy girl play

Free Summer Free

You threw your panties at me
I threw your panties away
You spent you summer at sea
I spent my summer sorry

Free Summer Free

CREATION TEAM

Cha Wilde: Lyrics, Melody, Vocals, Recording, Production
Davey Browne: Guitar, Recording, Production
Wesley Dean: Cool Kid Inspiration Vibes

JOURNAL
We’ve been snappy with each other today. We feel pressured to create a whole song before we go get sushi tonight with family. I want to have songs released too because sushi is a celebration. I have to let that go though. It’s not realistic. This project is really teaching me what’s possible in one day; more than I realized and less than I’d like. 

NOTE I WROTE ON MY PHONE AT SUSHI TONIGHT (high and drinking sake): I feel like I have a job again. And one I love. I like it.  It’s super hard and challenging every single day and I’m so here for it. I worry during the day if I can keep up. I feel a deep drive to do better. It’s been a long time since I felt like I had a job because I’ve been so scattered. I’ve been spread thing surviving between passion projects. With this new focus it’s so intense I can think of nothing else. My time off feels like time off again. thank god. I have chosen this full time job now. It’s was I dreamed of but didn’t act on because I didn’t know how I would make money doing it so I couldn’t leap. Then not leaping drove me crazy. So I dove in full commitment and now I’m living the dream and we’ll just see how the money comes in. The money is suddenly irrelevant. There’s no time to worry about it now because I’m so consumed making music. 

Today’s song is dripping in high school memories. We were high (again) a couple nights ago and my cousin Wes visited. We played Mario Golf and talked about his life in LA as an actor. He always gets cast in the mean bully characters. His vibe inspired this song. James Dean, cool kid in school vibes. I channeled the energy of a hot 18 year old boy who is living up his summer single and flirty. Young freedom.

Recording the song took us all freaking day, lots of shoulder tension, one blow up pissed each other off moment, and a lot of takes. We recorded the guitar and vocals so many (dozens) of times — both of us (me and Davey) being perfectionist about our contributions. Davey is learning how to tune drums, working with the XO drum loop plug-in. I’m exploring auto tune. Freaking LOVE!

It’s almost midnight now. My body is exhausted and I’m so ready to sleep. We are going to Portland to party for NYE tomorrow and we plan to record tomorrows song on the road-trip. Phew. I’m seriously wondering how long I can keep this up and how, if I do, will I find more self care, especially working out and yoga time. I’m feeling out of shape because all my energy is going into music. I refuse to let go of my body love and fitness. Sleepy time.

LOVE,

Cha Wilde


DAY 11: Ancient Ones

LYRICS
Will we be remembered in the words of a song
Will the young be singing after we are gone
Said the old one to the young
Your life has just begun
This is what they told me too

Ouu Ouu Ouu

We are the ancient ones
We’re falling like the snow
You’ll be an ancient one
With everything I know
We are the ancient ones
You and I both grow
You’ll be an ancient one
Falling like the snow

Ouu Ouu Ouu / Be the One

Spring is skipping down the lane
Wisdom dropping in the rain
Here beneath ancient sun
Ancient ones still feel young
Said the old one to the young
Your life has just begun
This is what they told me too x3

Ouu Ouu Ouu / Be the One

We are the ancient ones
We fall like snow
You’ll be an ancient one
We are the ancient ones
You and I both grow
You’ll be an ancient one
Falling like the snow

CREATIVE TEAM
Cha Wilde: Lyrics, Melody, Vocals, Piano, Recording & Production

JOURNAL
I can’t wait until the end of the day to record the song. I wrote the lyrics this morning and then spent my day relaxing around the house taking a bath and journaling. Then suddenly it was 9pm and I was exhausted and grumpy and still committed to recording. My attitude was nasty for performing. I cried, huffed, pushed some equipment around, cursed at myself for waiting till the last minute to finish the big task of the day. Davey was a total angel offering to help me however he could, never once getting upset by my bad mood. I want to finish the songs earlier in the day so I can relax with him fully in the evening. I think I waited until nightfall because I usually sing better at night. My vocal chords are warmed up at the end of the day and I feel the vibes in the candlelight (or pink LEDs).

My back is aching from so many hours sitting hunched over my journal, piano and laptop. I had to lean forward to record into the mic today. I’m missing days fully dedicated to fitness and yoga when my body is top priority. I’m missing days spent painting in the studio and swimming in the lake far away from desks and screens. These parts of me that love being unplugged are raising their eyebrows with worry and doubt, asking me “Is this really a good idea? Are you seriously going to write songs all the time now? What about us? Don’t you want to go climb a mountain and not create music for a day or two?” — oh parts, I hear you.

Today’s song is called ANCIENT ONES. It’s inspired by my recent reflections on growing older, recognizing I’m now in an older generation and those in the generation below me are experiencing a different kind of childhood and youth than I did. They grew up with phones and iPads and high speed internet and Tesla crazy inventions and talking house robots. I grew up almost off grid with my computer making that beepy dial up, AOL Instant messenger after school and flip phones got cool in high school. I remember picking up new technology with glee and figuring it out quickly and now I’m feeling the learning curve taking me longer with more frustration. Can I keep up? Can I stay involved and relevant in this culture? Do I even want to?

I’m rather fond of handwriting letters and meditating in the woods. The present moment is more entertaining than TikTok. I prefer eye contact over screen time. I have studied & practiced ancient ritual for many years and divine wisdom runs through me. I have so much to offer. My gifts are still needed. The new technology is just a tool for delivering these gifts, not a replacement or threat.

I wrote this song to honor the passing generations; how each of us grows from those who came before, inheriting knowledge and story. This song celebrates the chain we are all connected in, passing torches from above to below.

I took a lot of energy out of myself to create this one. Something about it was draining. My guess is that the topic felt very poignant, pushing into some deep fears of death and letting go. It’s a sensitive subject and I did my best to find beauty by viewing Life as a river in constant flow. Now I must sleep. I have another song to create tomorrow.

LOVE, Cha Wilde

DAY 9: Spellwriter

LYRICS

There are thoughts that run through my head
Found them on pages of books I once read
Turned them into the words I once said 
Now they’re the stories that I tell in bed 

[CHORUS]
Imma spell writer if you hear me sing
Imma spell writer my words might sting
Imma spell writer it’s a wisdom thing
Imma spell writer truth I bring 


I tell them write them put them down 
Pages are patient they listen to me
As I learn to listen my mind is set free
To be in my magic a wordsmith in flow
Swimming in all of the words that I know
I tell them write them put them down 

[CHORUS]

There is a feeling that’s not meant to stay
Please little feeling be on your way 
All you feelings make my heart sing
Please little feelings turn into ink
I’ll tell you write you put you down

[CHORUS]

I hear the echos reverb in my chest
Words on repeat so you’ll know the/norest
There are some stories that long to be told
They’ll drive me crazy until I am old 
If I don’t tell them write them put them down

[CHORUS]

I put the pen to paper everyday
Curious to know what my soul has to say
Clear out the cobwebs that clog my brain
thoughts spinning me around insane 
If I don’t tell them write them put them down

[CHORUS]

CREATIVE TEAM
Cha Wilde: lyrics, vocals, piano, recording, production

JOURNAL
It’s too easy to think that the work I’m doing in this world doesn’t matter. It’s so easy to think it’s vain, self-important. Some internet troll actually called my artwork “vain” recently which has planted this idea in my head. Is the artwork I’m creating actually contributing to the world, my community? I know it is. People tell me all the time that it inspires them and still there is this weird feeling in me that what I’m doing isn’t helping. It’s just a doubt, I’m sure of it. A lot of the music and paintings I make are just messy sketches now and it’s taking courage to release them out into the world as they are, without weeks of fine tuning and polish. My work is raw now and I love the constant flow and rush of curiosity each morning. What will I create today? Sometimes, I get a little wiff of magic float my way in the song. I hear the medicine in it; the heart of one human expressing out into the universe for another human to receive it and beat with it. I’m the one putting the sounds out there first. I don’t know who will receive my sounds but I have faith that when they hit, they heal. I imagine the women out there (if that’s you, hello) who listen to my songs in the darker moments, at the end of the long day, in the hot bathtub and on the long car drives. I’m here with you. I create for you, with you in mind, in spirit. When I need inspiration, I think of you. When I wonder if I have a place in this world as an artist, I think of you.

It’s this social media world that has me questioning my place in society. An an artist, am I super important for our culture and evolution or am I fiddling around wasting time in a studio while other people (the real adults) get actual shit done for everyone. It’s too easy to think these dark little pesky thoughts. I delete the internet from my world and imagine I live in a little village in the jungle. I am the storyteller of the tribe. I sing the songs around the campfire that guide our souls through each day. I paint the pictures that capture our journey. I hold the deep sacred space for the others as they go inward to explore and evolve. My job as an artist is no little task and I choose to view it as the work of a medicine woman.

I hear this calling to me in my song today. I’m at the dining room table, home alone with a pine scented candle. Snow is on the ground outside. The whole world is quiet for the winter holidays and I’m creating a new song, a song just for today.

LOVE,
Cha Wilde

PS: I used auto-tune on my voice for the first time today. I’ve been stubborn to use it because I love my voice and wanted to show up authentically in all my songs. I’m ready now though to get funky with it and see what’s possible with this new toy. It’s not an excuse to sing off-key and get sloppy with singing. I’m still doing my best to sing perfectly on key and the auto-tune is just making me feel like Christian Aguilera because it’s adjusting my voice to hit smoothly where I normally shake a little because it’s just outside my reach. Dope.

DAY 8: Cursed to Be Alone

LYRICS
Maybe I’m cursed to be alone
All by myself
Baby it’s hurts to come home
As somebody else

CREATIVE TEAM
Cha Wilde: lyrics, vocals, recording, production

JOURNAL
God, this is a depressing song for me. A part of me doesn’t want to share this song with the world because it feels lame, dark, underproduced, maybe even messy or cluttered. I could judge it all day.

Another part of me is proud that I created this song in the first place because it was a dark fucking day. I DID NOT want to make music, it was painful to rip sound out of my body and I wanted to give up and quit. This project felt overwhelming and stupid. I was in the WORST mood, the kind of dark depressing mood where I wondered why it was worth even staying alive. A part of me felt suicidal and didn’t feel like it was worth spending any time or energy creating. Who cares?

I smoked a joint with Davey in the snowy woods. My face was so droopy and sullen. It must have been so intense to look at me, so hard on him to hold space for me in this state. He was so supportive, patient and eager to help me create. I think I felt embarrassed and childish to create in front of him when I felt so dark. He was so bubbly and I was complaining right and left. Finally, I told him to go away and alone in the basement of my parent’s house I held the microphone in one hand and mumbled how I really felt. The ugly moaning, whining tone of voice said “Maybe I’m cursed to be alone, all by myself. Baby it’s hurts to come home, as somebody else”.

On this day I was totally blended with a part of me who feels like the ugly black sheep of my family. Everyone else is dancing around being silly and playing MarioGolf and singing Christmas songs and I’m moody, emotional, reclusive and bitchy. I remembered how my first husband and I used to be buddies and run away from the family to do our own thing, be in our own world. My second husband, Davey, is so much more integrated into my family. He doesn’t run off with me as much because he’s playing with my parents…so naturally a part of me feels left out. My first husband is a philosopher who could go dark and moody like I do sometimes. Davey is a ray of positive sunshine and virtually never do I see grey clouds on his face. I feel alone is my dark side when I’m with him and it totally sucks to come home and feel like a sad person around such high energy and joy. So here you go. A song that captures this shitty feeling. It’s the best I could do.
Love, Cha

DAY 3: City Lights REMIX feat. Davey Browne

On this day there simply was no energy in my body to write new lyrics and create from scratch. I took yesterday’s acoustic song “City Lights” and produced it into an electronic track with more instruments. The original song only had vocals & piano. We recorded Davey playing guitar to add body. We added a dance beat and background vocals. I passed the project over to Davey to let him play in Ableton and apply his new music production skills. He’s been amazing at diving deep into technical tutorials that I usually avoid. This has allowed me to pick up tips through him while I can keep my main focus on lyrics and melody. It’s also really exciting to see him coming alive with passion for music. After years of arguing about music and not being able to consistently play together in a fun way, this project seems to be showing possibility of us working together. I can release some tight control over every song and make space for him to step in and help. I’ve always felt so protective of my songs but with a time crunch of a daily song, I’m eager for help and able to collaborate. I felt the nerves in my body on edge as he was working on this song…afraid of him doing something I didn't like and then having to confront him about it or release a song that didn’t feel authentic to me. I think in the end he really made the song come alive with more energy. This is an example of allowing a teammate to lead us in a new direction that feels uncomfortable at first but actually ends up guiding us somewhere more beautiful than I though we would go. Thank you Davey for your help on this song. I know you’re proud of your creative flourishes and you should be. This song has good vibes and I’m grateful we got to create it together. Love, Cha

CREATION TEAM:

Cha Wilde: Lyrics, Melody, Vocals, Piano, Recording Engineer, Production

Davey Browne: Guitar, Production Assistant, Audio Engineering