Long Walks Through the City, Losing Track of Time, Chocolate & Drawing Faces

“It’s difficult to look up.” Said my brother in law. I don’t know what he’s talking about. When I walk through Seattle between my loft and my studio my head is cranked up to take in the skyscrapers. I keep looking over my shoulder to see how the view keeps changing on each street. Every block is so beautiful and dynamic. Traveling on foot is all about looking up. It takes a lot of convincing to get myself to walk across town. It’s so easy to drive. 10 minutes in the car vs 45 minutes walking. I never regret the walk though. I feel refreshed by the movement, inspired by the scenery, I get perspective checked as I pass all the homeless people, hospitals, and storefronts covered up with plywood since COVID and protests. I get to walk by the big sports stadiums and I feel myself in the presence of human greatness — people who have dreamed, pushed themselves and accomplished. I listen to music and daydream but mostly I observe. I’m super present, not thinking about much, just enjoying what I’m looking at. I often play audio meditations as I walk. It’s peaceful having Gil Fronsdale tell me to breath and relax my shoulders as I walking across sidewalks and passing by allyways. Plus, once I’m at my studio I feel so free to stick around for a long time and create…not parking meter to pay attention to. That’s the trickiest thing about my new art studio…parking is on the clock. This distracts me from getting totally immersed in my work. I want to disappear for hours and lose track of time when I’m making. Knowing that my parking meter is ticking makes me feel rushed and far too aware of the outside world. So I realize, to get the full deep creation experience I long for, I must walk. I walk across town for the fresh inspiration and the timeless creation session.

And I spend a decent amount of time lying on the fluffy carpets in my studio eating chocolate. When I took this photo I was listening to this podcast episode about gathering with Brene Browne. The box of chocolates came from one of my photography clients. My head is resting on my new pink patterned yoga bolster — I have wanted my own yoga bolster for YEARS. A yoga mat is necessary and a bolster is a luxury! Finally, I invested and I love it. It’s such a versatile pillow or seat…or headrest while eating chocolates. I savor the chocolates, slowly melting the chosen ones on my tongue. I love the caramels and crunchy ones best. A box of chocolates feels so luxurious and even more so that I’m keeping this one entirely to myself. I thought about sharing it with Davey and then decided…nope, just for me. MINE MINE MINE! hehehehe

And this is a painting / drawing I’ve been working on this week. I’ve decided to start practicing drawing faces again. When I was in university, I drew women’s faces and bodies often. Most of the artwork I’ve made in the past few years has been abstract. I have a dream of being able to paint goddesses. Charmaine Olivia has inspired me for years and if I can learn to paint even remotely like her I’ll be over the freaking moon!! She’s been my favorite painter for almost a decade. I just love her colors and the spiritual vibe. Follow her on Instagram and OMG it’s rainbow explosions. Her hair is died rainbow. Her house is painted rainbow. For years, I drooled over photos of her art studio and the studio I’m now working in is my own manifestation of that dream. Since seeing her paint in a big room with tall ceiling, big windows, paintings everywhere, brick….I want that for ME! So finally, here we are. My studio is a slow growing space. I need to buy more plants and bring in a big mirror — because I LOVE staring at myself in between art projects. I feel like I’m hanging out with myself, like a friend, smiling at my own face. Maybe that’s what happens when you grow up in the countryside and spend a lot of time alone as a kid…you befriend your reflection. Truth for me.

So I still feel like the faces I’m drawing right now look a little strange, clownish, tense. I’m so excited to have blending tools now so I can practice shading. I just love drawing and painting because I get to create something with my hands and get messy. I miss that tangible element when I’m making music, which is so invisible and also when I’m taking photos with is so digital. I believe it’s really healthy to express creatively with many different senses. I get to use my eyes and hands for painting. I get to use my hands, ears, mind’s eye and whole dancing body for music. I get to use my hands, eyes and a running around body for photography. I’m not doing much with my nose or tongue right now in terms of creativity…so to be more well rounded, perhaps I need to spend some time cooking and growing flowers. ;)

LOVE, CHA🍍WILDE

I Need Plants, Buddha, Drawing Tools, Space Away from Social Media

My art studio is like a scratch off lottery ticket. I keep asking, “What do you want to be? What do you want me to use this space for?” I put my cello in the corner and I roll out my yoga mat. My books are on the staircase. I still need to buy plants to bring more life and nature in and I keep putting off that task. Carrying plants around seems like a daunting chore. They’re expensive, they need pots, they may get dirt on my car, I’ve got four flights of stairs to haul them up. Perhaps, I can start small with a little desk cactus. I’m dreaming of an indoor tree, 10 feet tall, growing up and across the tall ceilings. The plants make me feel safe and relaxed. It feels like home when plants are in a room. It’s difficult to create art without plants around; the room feels cold and empty, like an uninspired factory building rather than the dreamy artist studio I know it can be.

I brought my Buddha statue from our condo down to the studio. I needed a friend down here and I’ve been working next to this Buddha for years. He reminds me to stay grounded and not get stressed about work. I purchased him from a Value Village thrift store when I was starting my photography business and watching my life be overrun by workaholism. I told myself I would keep him with me always to remember to not be stressed. I got so stressed this summer during COVID that I started cleaning house and literally almost gave Buddha away, back to the Goodwill. What was I thinking! That was some serious stress…so stressed I thought it was a good idea to give away my de-stressing buddy.

I started drawing again this week. I even bought myself special blending tools and an art gum eraser. I recorded a podcast episode about the importance of spending a little money on art supplies. LISTEN: spotify / soundcloud / apple podcasts I’ve been allowing myself these little purchases to fuel my creativity. Even if money is low in the bank, it feels way better to spend $10 on drawing tools and then get on with drawing. It feels terribly blocked and soul crushing to say ‘no’ to my inner artist who just wants to play and grow. When I give myself these little gifts that blow on the flame of creativity, my energy is much higher all day long for the money making activities I must do. In other words, by not spending $10 on art supplies, I may feel discouraged and lose all motivation to earn any money at all. By spending $10 on art supplies, I may be filled with so much enthusiasm that I work harder and earn $500+ that day. It’s a game of self encouragement, abundance mindset, following the flow of inspiration, and acknowledging which activities drain energy vs. refill energy.

The Cha Wilde Show · 167: spend money on art supplies, feel the freedom!

The ceilings are so high. It felt uncomfortable when I first moved in. I didn’t know how to fill the space. It took me a long time to walk across the room to get something out of my jacket pocket or pour another cup of tea. Walking, walking, walking. The space feels huge and naked, exposed, cold. I wanted to cozy up under the staircase like Harry Potter, buy a Japanese screens that divide rooms and construct a 'cozy corner’, hang curtains to block out the bright light shining up from the harbor. There is so much cement and metal outside and the Seattle autumn sky is so silver. It’s blinding and harsh. I like being in the studio at night when the lightening in cozy, glowing twinkles and candles. So yes, coziness is the direction I’m heading in now. Sectioning off areas of the studio to feel like little rooms, bringing in more blankets and soft items. I’m envisioning hanging aerial silks from the ceiling beams to fill up the space and in the summer when the wind blows in through the windows the silks will billow — colorful movement will fill the space. I’ve realized I don’t need to fill this spacious studio with stuff. I almost spent so much money buying decor and furniture. Patience and discipline to wait…and an empty bank account helps…has given me time to appreciate how I can fill this studio with energy and activity. More cleared room means I can host more people, dance wildly in the middle of the night leaping and twirling unafraid of bumping into anything. I’m renting all this space so I can safely stretch my wings and play. I can fill this space with myself.

I like to buy ‘Whoops paint’. You just go to a hardware store paint section and ask them where their shelve of mistakes and sample paints are. They usually sell cans that other people ordered but decided they didn’t want or they were just abandoned. They go for $0.50 - $25 which is a huge savings on paint which can cost upwards of $50 a can. You don’t get to request a specific color but if you see a pre-mixed color you love then you can take it. So for a couple years, I’ve been collecting these left over paints — other peoples’ trash paint. I challenged myself to paint with colors I didn’t like…just to see what I would do with it. Turns out that feels shitttty! I hate painting with colors I don’t like. The whole reason I paint in the first place is to surround myself with colors that make me happy. End. Of. Story. I hauled all these heavy paint cans with me to my parents house this summer and then I loaded them into my brother’s truck and we hauled them out to the city and up the ancient elevator of this building I’m renting. I had dozens of paint cans and in the spirit of joyful order, I’ve now sorted through them and separated the colors I love from the colors I don’t love. The colors I don’t love are being thrown away slowly — I’m a gradual person. I like to take one paint can to the trash can at a time on my way out the door rather than sweat bullets hauling lots of them around in one go. So one by one, the ugly colors are leaving. I’ve moved my favorite colors front and center. Now, when I sit down in the middle of the studio to paint, I reach out and pull these beautiful favorite colors to me. I get them all over my hands and clothes and I love it. It’s like my version of a tattoo. I’m not interested in ink tattoos. I love covering myself in paint and seeing how the paint patterns on my skin change each day. I feel really happy when I look down and see splotches of pink on my fingers and a smear of light blue on my thigh. It’s fun to go out in public like that. It’s like I’m waving a little flag that say, “Hey everybody, I’m an artist and I love to make a colorful mess!” It’s a lifestyle and I’m enjoying it.

Since moving into the studio I haven’t felt much like painting. I seem to be very easily troubled by these life transitions. Moving into a new space is so unsettling and it takes me a few months to wriggle into the place and establish my new routine. I LOVE routine. I love my daily rituals. The structure holds me to together like a skeleton and with that strong foundation I feel so free to go wild with my creative expression. I’m wild in my music, my writing, the lore I’m building in my imagination, the way I like to dance and sing, and now the way I’m DJing. It’s all so liberating for me to let loose inside those containers and the routine is what makes it possible. Without a routine, I’m floundering around with all my energy directed towards ‘what do we do next?’, just basic survival monitoring and planning. The routine takes a lot of thoughts out of my mind and decisions off my plate. I get to show up and dive into my fun playful work with more energy. Painting is an activity that I enjoy as a relaxing hobby and unless it’s linked to a routine it doesn’t happen. I love waking up and painting as part of my morning meditation. I make a cup of tea, I meditate on my breath for 10-20 minutes, I write in my journal for 3 pages, I paint while listening to music and birds and sipping my tea. I take pictures of my painting as it progresses. The photography is an essential element of my painting process. I love the documentation and viewing the colors as they appear on the screen of my phone or camera. It feels really complete once I photograph it. It’s about the whole ceremony of enjoying the colors as they appear in the cans, on the brushes, on the canvas, and then in the photograph. The whole thing makes me feel so relaxed and happy. So the move to the city threw off this painting routine and after 3 months, I finally opened a can of paint. I didn’t know where to start so I started with the rainbow. One color at a time, blending them carefully together. The rainbow is always satisfying me.

I’ve been semi-offline for the past month. I went on a vacation to Mexico, came home with COVID, laid in bed for weeks (it was mild), finally got back to work and FOCUSED on work…which means social media hasn’t had the pleasure of my attention. At first, it was difficult. The social media withdrawal symptoms were dominated by loneliness and of course, holding steady led me through the dark tunnel and space started to clear. I have been finding new ways to connect with people that are much more fulfilling. Social media is mostly empty calories. I’m going in for the direct messages, text messages, emails, Voxer messages, in person meetings and small gathrings, Zoom calls. I want to connect with people directly. The mass spray out into the universe has been far too draining, depleting, disappointing for my introverted sensitive artist heart. When I put energy out there, giving myself to others, I want to know I will be receiving back. It’s a circle of life. We must give AND receive. Even a negative interaction directly with another human feels better than the empty void of the internet where digital crickets chirp…if that. So right now, you’ll find me here on my blog, on my podcast and on your phone if you have my number.

LOVE, CHA🍍WILDE

Have you invited playfulness into your creativity?

I can get so serious sometimes it hurts. I hear my voice drop and drag out slow. I feel wise and shit, inspirational and worshipable and then...🍍
Then I remember my ego is in the drivers seat, or the fancy new chair...thinking it's allllll that.
Being a serious artist is a pretty lame experience. It comes with pressure, resistance, tension.

The Cha Wilde Show · 150. Create from Twisted Darkness...Or Not ;)

When I remember its way more fun to be silly, CURIOUS, and explore the possibilities that make me feel a little uncomfortable and risky...fresh...childish ... nonsensical ... embarrassed ... magical....and possibly might get me in some kind of trouble...yah, this feels better.
Creating art can be a playground. A free spirit led adventure inwards so you can feel EXPANSIVE and free!! No rules. Break rules. Change who you are...even if it's just in your imagination.
Oh ya, I like that way better. You'll get a lot more out of me with this kind of talk.
I buy pineapples to keep me silly. They remind me to not be so damn serious. I "stick a pineapple in it" and suddenly it's a party. Lol 🍍✌
Love, cha

Be Loud, Make Playful Noises, Sound is Life! [PODCAST]

I’m afraid of:
being heard
disturbing people
making too much noise
taking up too much space
dominating and monopolizing the sound space
being too loud

These fears were so strong they held be down, I let them hold me down, when I was a giggling teenager. Full of energy and life I was and yet I kept my most precious voice locked away. I sang my heart out in the car, alone on my commute to school each day - 1hr each way. When I got to college I felt kind of depressed for the first time in life. Something was missing. I came home for Christmas and sat in my car (I didn’t have or need a car at college), switched on the radio and sang along. There it was!!! My daily hours of singing were missing from my life at college. My 19 year old self realized in that moment the powerful role that singing and making noise plays in my well-being.

Zoom forward a decade and now I’m recording The Cha Wilde Show in my very own music studio in Seattle. I’m there before the sun comes up today. It’s raining outside, trains are going by and I’m singing and making weird animal noises. I’m continuously learning how to produce music, mix songs, perform, teach, speak and deliver beautiful packages of fun inspiring sound to people. I’ve had this vision bubbling in me for a couple years. The podcast; I’ve interviewed people. I’ve explored abstract concepts of creativity. I’ve guided you on production sessions and some of the songs we made on the podcast are going to be on my upcoming album. Look out for ‘Cruel World’ and ‘Hello My Love’. You know the song “Like a Bird I’ve Flown Away” on my album ‘The Sound of Freedom’ was also created on my podcast.

If you’re wondering what I mean “created on my podcast”, I mean you can listen to me creating the song from scratch to finish. I recorded the entire process and edited it down, condensing it into a 1hr magic unveiling song creation experience! SO freaking fun.

Now, I’m nesting in my new studio and clicking ‘record’ on the computer and ‘play’ on myself. Enjoy this new episode of The Cha Wilde Show — it’s got fresh music I’m producing live for you, a deep dive into playfulness and why it’s worth learning how to write happy songs, and a little bit more about those fears I mentioned (the ones about making noise and showing up big in this world).

The Cha Wilde Show · 149. Be Loud, Make Playful Noises, Sound is Life!

I’m afraid of: being heard disturbing people making too much noise taking up too much space dominating and monopolizing the sound space being too loud These fears were so strong they held be down, I let them hold me down, when I was a giggling teenager. Full of energy and life I was and yet I kept my most precious voice locked away. I sang my heart out in the car, alone on my commute to school each day - 1hr each way. When I got to college I felt kind of depressed for the first time in life. Something was missing. I came home for Christmas and sat in my car (I didn’t have or need a car at college), switched on the radio and sang along. There it was!!! My daily hours of singing were missing from my life at college. My 19 year old self realized in that moment the powerful role that singing and making noise plays in my well-being. Zoom forward a decade and now I’m recording The Cha Wilde Show in my very own music studio in Seattle. I’m there before the sun comes up today. It’s raining outside, trains are going by and I’m singing and making weird animal noises. I’m continuously learning how to produce music, mix songs, perform, teach, speak and deliver beautiful packages of fun inspiring sound to people. I’ve had this vision bubbling in me for a couple years. The podcast; I’ve interviewed people. I’ve explored abstract concepts of creativity. I’ve guided you on production sessions and some of the songs we made on the podcast are going to be on my upcoming album. Look out for ‘Cruel World’ and ‘Hello My Love’. You know the song “Like a Bird I’ve Flown Away” on my album ‘The Sound of Freedom’ was also created on my podcast. If you’re wondering what I mean “created on my podcast”, I mean you can listen to me creating the song from scratch to finish. I recorded the entire process and edited it down, condensing it into a 1hr magic unveiling song creation experience! SO freaking fun. Now, I’m nesting in my new studio and clicking ‘record’ on the computer and ‘play’ on myself. Enjoy this new episode of The Cha Wilde Show — it’s got fresh music I’m producing live for you, a deep dive into playfulness and why it’s worth learning how to write happy songs, and a little bit more about those fears I mentioned (the ones about making noise and showing up big in this world). SOUND IS LIFE Make noise, beautiful creature. Let us enjoy your voice, your silly sounds. Make us feel your presence in the vibrations, reaching through space to hold us. We are in this together and our music is our most sacred magic. How else can we feel each other so deeply and be so woven as one? When you tremble in fear of making too much noise, shake it off. Remember, SOUND IS LIFE! Be alive!

SOUND IS LIFE
Make noise, beautiful creature.
Let us enjoy your voice, your silly sounds.
Make us feel your presence in the vibrations, reaching through space to hold us.
We are in this together and our music is our most sacred magic.
How else can we feel each other so deeply and be so woven as one?
When you tremble in fear of making too much noise, shake it off.
Remember, SOUND IS LIFE! Be alive!

I'm afraid of: being heard disturbing people making too much noise taking up too much space dominating and monopolizing the sound space being too loud These fears were so strong they held be down, I let them hold me down, when I was a giggling teenager.

Cha Wilde & The Friz: How We're Leveling Up As Electronic Music Producers [ZOOM CALL]

Tori and I were hanging out on Zoom (cuz we're friends) — this woman is my music production soul sister. Before I met Tori (on Instagram BTW) I was making beats alone in my room and hanging out with acoustic songwriters who didn’t understand my abstract soundscapes that represented my travels through the chakras. Then I met Tori and realized there are other women out there who want to make music that keeps us lost in daydreams!

Tori is in my book club (along with a bunch of people around the world) and we' are nurturing our creativity together. We’ve just finished the first chapter of the book “Recovering a Sense of Safety” and its’ inspiring us to explore in new directions, level up and take ourselves more seriously as artists and revive passions from our childhood.

● Go find Tori: Website | Spotify
● Join our book club: We're reading 'The Artist's Way' by Julia Cameron. It's not just me and Tori ha! I'm inviting people from around the whole planet to go on this creative and spiritual journey with us. You read at your own pace and we meet up in Live Calls and small group chats to share our experiences, insights, challenges & breakthroughs. More info about The Artist’s Way Book Club.

CHA🍍WILDE
come with me now: SPOTIFY / INSTAGRAM / TIKTOK / TWITCH / PODCAST / SHOP

I Make My Music Complex and Then I Kill My Darlings [LIVE STREAM]

We like to make things complex, don’t we? I think it’s because at first, we’re so limited by our novice skills (or lack thereof) that we’re desperate to travel fast and shove a lot in. Babies, we’re crawling at the starting line and finally when our legs are long and strong enough to run we get to burn off all that pent up energy. In our first few years of learning musical instruments, we have no choice but to keep it simple. We only know a couple chords and our fingers can only coordinate to hit a couple keys at the same time. But then….one day an extra finger flickers with movements and our eyes grow big and we’re like “OMG that finger moved and I totally didn’t tell it to! OMG My muscle memory is taking over! OMG my brain just figured out that harmony without me even trying!” The victories of early progress are so sweet. So we run as fast and hard as we can. We want to play with ALL of the sounds, cram them in there. This applies to more than just music making, songwriting, electronic music production. This applies to pretty much all of human life. We get all excited and stuff way too much in our bellies. I think this is a great thing for artists. When you feel free to express yourself, go crazy with it! Run free, run wild. Explore everything. Don’t hold anything back. This message is especially for those of us who have felt blocked, shy, and afraid. When that harness if finally snapped off of you, when your heart breaks out of the cage, then fuck yes!!!! Be boundless in your creations! Spread your wings and get funky with as many sounds as you can pour in your ears. Enjoy the chaos of the unlimited combinations! A time of sophistication, fine tuning, culling and “killing your darlings” aka deleting the good (but not great) bits will soon be upon you! For me, that’s today.

During this live stream on Twitch, I’m listening through a song that’s got way too much going on. It sounds cluttered. I was experimenting with bass guitars, bass drums, bell sounds, sub sub sub sub. I was filling up the song with more body that would make us get lost in it, feel it deeply resonating through our bodies. I’m practicing keeping a more consistent baseline throughout the entire song so it feels like one cohesive piece rather than a bunch of little chunks of random sounds stuck together. I’m learning the balance of going wild creating an epic sound journey and also making sure I don’t lose the plot half way through the song. Essentially, as long as I keep some common threat (in this song it’s a pretty continuous clapping sound) from beginning to end, then I have more room to do whatever crazy thing I want to do with the other instruments and voice. Somebody (the clap) is holding down the fort so it still feels like the same song. So today, I’m hunting for all sounds that don’t fulfill that mission. Clear out the extra sounds that are causing clutter and only keep the ones that are adding delicious texture, steady rhythm and wild sonic adventures. Okay, I’m getting carried away. Time to get to work…I mean PLAY.

(LIVE STREAM) Electronic Music Production in Ableton Live 10

Come chill with me on TWITCH: https://www.twitch.tv/chawilde
I simultaneously went live on @chawilde Instagram.

The song I’m working on today is on my upcoming album. It’s called “Lose Myself in the Song”. I’m sharing the creation process behind this one song to let you in on my world, the vibe of this album that’s about to drop in your lap (probably in 2021), pass on helpful production tips and inspire a little dancer party in your soul. Enjoy!

CHA🍍WILDE

Remembering My Purpose, I'm Here to Write Songs and Sing

SEPTEMBER 2020 | My first morning waking up in my new music studio, sitting down to play piano

This morning I remember the importance of clocking in...my phone auto corrected that to 'clicking in' which actually is more accurate. I turned my metronome (the click) on just after 6am. The windows were black and the streets quiet as I made the first sounds of the morning. First my fingers on keys and an ancient chant from my lips. It felt weak, a little sick and groggy. Not really sure what I'm doing here, up so early, in a studio, playing music for nobody. I though about recording myself to make it seem more meaningful more connected to humanity. Maybe someone will watch it and appreciate it.

Is that why I'm here though? I push my phone behind my piano so I can't see it and hope to forget about it. I play scales and rejoice a little that after four years both hands can walk together up and down the D scale. It used to seem impossible and today I did it with my eyes closed and no thoughts. How did my fingers know where to go? I told myself to keep going and here we are sitting on the floor with progress.

There's free parking on Sunday and most people in the building won't be here today or at least not this early, I hope. It's my first Sunday here and the huge ships in the Puget Sound are keeping me company now that the sun is up. I wonder where their cargo is headed. I like living beside I water, I prefer it actually, as I feel very connected to the rest of the earth and her rhythms, knowing the water connects us all.

With my commitment to do my work for a solid undisturbed block of 4 hours, I must dig deeper. I play old songs, add more lyrics to the unfinished ones, switch up the order I usually play them in. A couple hours in my voice is warm and malleable. I can do anything I want with it. This is one of my favorite feelings. Freedom in my voice allows me freedom of expression.

I'm excited to see my old acoustic songs resurfacing and to secretly know that they're all going to be rerecorded along with the new acoustic songs I've been working on for the past two years. Funny how they still qualify as new....new for the world. Songs may be like trees then, these ones still look small on the surface and I am the only person who currently feels their growing roots expanding and I can sense how great and powerful they will become.

I remember my genius this morning. I am a wordsmith. I'm constantly amazed and overjoyed that I am able to come up with such clever lines. I don't know where this skill comes from but it's strong. I suppose it really is a gift given to me at birth, nurtured somehow through my life experiences and find tuned in my journals. All I can say is I'm surprised how easily I forget my home in songwriting.

Just a few hours is all it takes for me to feel alive in these songs and awake in my chosen purpose. We must give our own life meaning and for years now I've been repeatedly choosing music; songwriting, composing, singing, playing, producing, performing, listening, dancing. I try other things and they're thrilling or terrible for me. Then I lock myself in a studio for 4 hours on a Sunday morning and remember who I am without thinking about myself.

I want to feel caught up with myself, to have all my songs released for the world to enjoy and be able to write and release in real time, to be right on the frontier of my creativity, surfing a wave right on the tip of my board. I have some catching up to do to get these old songs out and feel space for the new. I have a couple years in this studio to accomplish that mission.

Now, I'm so hungry. I'm going to drive home for my morning yoga, workout and breakfast. I'll also journal and answer emails and such to prepare for the work week ahead. I've got lots of photography clients to connect with who are supporting me financially so I can continue to create art and expand in this space. Clicking out, cha 

I was looking for healing in my work.
Once I found healing elsewhere
I was happy to do work
that didn’t heal me.

I Remember Who I Am When I Do My Work

This morning I remember the importance of clocking in...my phone auto corrected that to 'clicking in' which actually is more accurate. I turned my metronome (the click) on just after 6am. The windows were black and the streets quiet as I made the first sounds of the morning. First my fingers on keys and an ancient chant from my lips. It felt weak, a little sick and groggy. Not really sure what I'm doing here, up so early, in a studio, playing music for nobody. I though about recording myself to make it seem more meaningful more connected to humanity. Maybe someone will watch it and appreciate it. Is that why I'm here though? I push my phone behind my piano so I can't see it and hope to forget about it. I play scales and rejoice a little that after four years both hands can walk together up and down the D scale. It used to seem impossible and today I did it with my eyes closed and no thoughts. How did my fingers know where to go? I told myself to keep going and here we are sitting on the floor with progress.

The Cha Wilde Show · 146. If You're Stressed You Can't Be Creative

There's free parking on Sunday and most people in the building won't be here today or at least not this early, I hope. It's my first Sunday here and the huge ships in the Puget Sound are keeping me company now that the sun is up. I wonder where their cargo is headed. I like living  eside I water, I prefer it actually, as I feel very connected to the rest of the earth and her rhythms, knowing the water connects us all. With my commitment to do my work for a solid undisturbed block of 4 hours, I must dig deeper. I play old songs, add more lyrics to the unfinished ones, switch up the order AI usually play them in. A couple hours in my voice is warm and malleable. I can do anything I want with it. This is one of my favorite feelings. Freedom in my voice allows me freedom of expression. I'm excited to see my old acoustic songs resurfacing and to secretly know that they're all going to be rerecorded along with the new acoustic songs I've been working on for the past two years. Funny how they still qualify as new....new for the world. Songs may be like trees then, these ones still look small on the surface and I am the only person who currently feels their growing roots expanding and I can sense how great and powerful they will become. I remember my genius this morning. I am a wordsmith. I'm constantly amazed and overjoyed that I am able to come up with such clever lines. I don't know where this skill comes from but it's strong. I suppose it really is a gift given to me at birth, nurtured somehow through my life experiences and find tuned in my journals. All I can say is I'm surprised how easily I forget my home in songwriting. Just a few hours is all it takes for me to feel alive in these songs and awake in my chosen purpose.

We must give our own life meaning and for years now I've been repeatedly choosing music; songwriting, composing, singing, playing, producing, performing, listening, dancing. I try other things and they're thrilling or terrible for me. Then I lock myself in a studio for 4 hours on a Sunday morning and remember who I am without thinking about myself. I want to feel caught up with myself, to have all my songs released for the world to enjoy and be able to write and release in real time, to be right on the frontier of my creativity, surfing a wave right on the tip of my board. I have some catching up to do to get these old songs out and feel space for the new. I have a couple years in this studio to accomplish that mission. Now, I'm so hungry. I'm going to drive home for my morning yoga, workout and breakfast. I'll also journal and answer emails and such to prepare for the work week ahead. I've got lots of photography clients to connect with who are supporting me financially so I can continue to create art and expand in this space.

Clicking out, cha

I am Artist with a Full Time Job

“I feel less. Less of an artist. I don’t feel 100% an artist because I have a full time job from 8am-5pm Monday - Friday.”

Job or no job, you’re an artist. What makes you an artist has nothing to do with where you clock in each day to make money. Let me tell ya, even when you work as a full time artist, most of your day isn’t spend making art. I only make art for 4 hours a day if I’m lucky. The rest of my day is spent marketing, emailing, Zoom calling, looking through bookkeeping records, commuting and taking care of my personal health and social life. So the reality is that very few, if any, of us are literally doing Art full time. We may be doing the business of art, tasks related to our art, or other jobs to support our art.

I carried this worry on my shoulders, festering in my mind, for years. I was embarrassed to tell my musician friends that I also ran a photography business. I feared that would make me look like a failing musician, a musician who couldn’t support herself with her music and she had to result to other types of art that she was better at. I thought they wouldn’t take me seriously as a musician if they knew everything else I did in life to pay bills and stay sane. I looked up to full time musicians like heroes who were ‘actually’ doing it. I felt like I was failing for not being focused 100%, willing to do anything for the music, including starve in basement and perform at weddings. I beat myself up for the way I was handling things. I told myself I didn’t have what it takes. I looked in the mirror and said mean things like “If you were really a musician, if this is really your destiny, then you would be out there performing every day. You would be going door to door to perform for the neighbors. You would be playing your instrument 8 hours a day at least!” I heard John Mayer played guitar until his fingers were bleeding. My fingers were sore but not bleeding yet…so I’m not good enough…yet.

I’ve got some new wrinkled under my eyes that I notice each morning these days. I’m pretty sure they showed up because of this stress. For years, I push and push from the inside, trying to squeeze myself into a form of what I perceived a serious, professional, respected musician ‘should’ be. Fuck it! It aged me. This stress took away life energy from me. Obviously, that is not living in flow, not living in alignment. During COVID quarantine, I’ve realized that my health, my vital life energy must come first. I must be committed to my mental well being, my emotional stability, sense of self, deep healing, active engagement in friendships and community building, creative expression in many outlets (not just music) and stability in my finances. I gave myself permission to workout and do yoga before I made music. I gave myself permission to spend the little money I had on therapy sessions so I could be at ease, knowing I’m taking care of myself and feel fresh hope. I gave myself permission to reach out to new friends and invite them into my book club even though I was a little nervous they wouldn’t want to do it with me. I gave myself permission to show up bigger with my camera and own my profession, my expertise, my passion, my reliable income as a photographer.

Yes, I make most of my money from photography and I’ve really kept that hidden from the Cha Wilde fanbase for years. I wanted my fans to look at me with respect and admire me for being a full time musician and painter. I was ashamed of doing other work (even though my other work is also art based). I know what the shame feels like. I know what it feels like to wish you had more time to spend on your art. I know what it’s like to being trying to get through the workday, feeling pain inside because the true passion is calling your name, waiting for you to come home. I know what it’s like to daydream about how to make the dream happen, what must I do? I know what it’s like to stand in a circle of artists and feel lesser. I’ve stood backstage with musicians and felt shy about being far less experienced or skilled than the other rockstars in the room. Guess what? I shared my shyness with one of my rockstar friends and she whispered back to me that she was feeling the same way. WTF? We all feel this silliness.

I validate your feelings dear one. I know how you feel. You feel less because you’ve got that full time job. Let’s reframe it. Let’s think about this differently. You’re not less, you’re actually more. You’re doing more than just art. You’re more dynamic than just your art. You are taking care of yourself in the best way you know how so far. Are you excited to change something? Would you like to make more room for your art? This is possible! Would you like to find a way to rearrange your schedule, improve your focus or routine structure so art has more space to breath in your life? You my love are not less. You are so much more. Let’s get really excited about the fun ways you can cultivate more art into your life so you feel fulfilled each day. Your job is not making you less of an artist. Your job is making it possible for you to do art. Your job is giving you an opportunity to learn something new. What will you learn as you begin to explore the possibilities of how great masterpieces of artwork can pour from the humans with full time jobs. I suggest you read “The Great Work of Your Life: A Guide for the Journey to Your True Calling” by Stephen Cope. You’ll learn about some legendary artistic geniuses throughout history who also had a full time day job.

LOVE,
Cha

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The Artist’s Way Book Club
I lead a book club of artists, beautiful creative humans from all around the Earth. We are reading The Artist’s Way together, exploring what it means to us to be artists, how we can live more creatively, what is holding us back from fully expressing ourselves as the great creators we dream of being. You are very welcome to join us. We’re all reading at our own pace and we meet for live calls, we have small group chat threads, and I publish commentaries on my podcast for when you’re in the mood to listen and go deeper into these juicy topics. If you’d like more creativity in your life and more structure, discipline, routine, community, accountability and connection around your art, join us. Click here to learn more about The Artist’s Way Book Club with Cha Wilde. Fill out this form and I’ll send you an email to get you started! :)

The Artist's Way is Rising in Our Collective Consciousness After COVID

There' something going on, this book is in the air right now. The Artist’s Way is making its way off the shelves into the hands of artists around the globe. Now seems like a perfect time, after all these years, to finally read this book. Why now?

We are emerging from the cacoon. Months in quarantine, physically closing in and feeling the momentum of our previous lives crashing into us with some whip lash at we calibrate to our new way of being. This world in COVID has seen perfect conditions for the womb-like conditions required for new birth. We've curled inward, isolated, untrusting of the outside world. Now, as the shops open their doors and we cautiously enter with face masks pulled high, we are new beings in a new world. “Going back to normal” is a fixed, if not entirely foolish mentality. Life is change. The universe is expansion. What inside you is ready to be born? A new chapter begins and so do you!

I asked my friends and Instagram followers to join me in a book club. We are reading The Artist's Way. Why did all my friends say, “Yes and that's so weird because I was just thinking about buying that book!” and “Yes! I recieved that book as a gift years ago and I was feeling like this is the perfect time to start reading it finally!” A book club member just sent me a screen shot of his text thread with a friend. He had texted her a photo of his copy of The Artist's Way to tell her about it and she responded immediately with a photo of her book….which she had been holding in her hand, pulling it off the shelf, when she received his message!

This thrilling synchronicity makes complete sense in my mind. The reason I felt so compelled to launch this book club right now is the same reason everyone is gravitating towards this legendary book right now. We are reentering the world and we are exploring new ways to be, to interact, to express ourselves, to push our limits with fresh appreciation for life. The Artist's Way is a workshop, a course, that leads grown humans back inside themselves so they can reconnect with their child self, the playful little artist inside who wants to make something silly and experiment fearlessly with glee! This book guides you back to the beginning places in your creative soul, dark corners where wounds and dreams are hiding, and then guides you step by step back out into the world as a mature artist aligned with purpose and grounded intention.

Of course, this books is rising to the surface and people all around the world are reaching for it, pulling it off their shelves and mentioning it to their friends. COVID, quarantine, BLM and whatever else 2020 has brought our way, have humbled us back to our basics and now with help from great teachers like Julia Cameron, author of The Artist's Way, we get to wash our faces, sharpen our pencils and march back out onto the creative playground with a “New school year, new me.” kind of attitude.

Join the Cha Wilde book club and explore The Artist's Way journey with me and the other amazing humans in my deepening circle. It's a 1 year adventure and you can start anytime and slide right into the sharing sharing circle with us.

Freedom in the Morning to Create Anything

I like the first hour of my day to be unfettered. Leave it untouched by expectation. As a child I awoke with the sun and loud music. In these adult years, sunrise is a silent time with pen and paper followed by hours of unruly experimentation and play. My morning morning followed by morning playtime. Free to wake up gently, drain out the thinking and feel into something new. I take pictures of my paintings and record a video of myself doing yoga with a pineapple. I write the first page of a book. I imagine I'm deeper into my life journey. Perhaps I have a music studio and I produce for other people. Perhaps my paintings are on display in a museum in New York City. Perhaps there is enough money in my bank account and enough gumption in my belly to spin a globe and fly to wherever my pointer-finger lands. These first couple hours of the day are freedom.

I Am Great Doing the Work of an Artist

I said I want to be great. I feel embarrassed to say it but there is something inside me that still holds on to the belief that I can do something great. I understand now that this greatness is not something I will create or become. It is only to be felt as it rushes through me and I look up from my daily work with a smile and say “I feel great.” Great is how I feel, how I am, when I am dipping into the deep flowing river of creation, happily lost in my own imagination, wandering the trails of my artist mind, grateful to be greatful.

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