The Cliffs Of Uluwatu

A lonely ache lives in my chest, slightly confused and somehow not urgent. The soft wind on my bare skin and the songs of the bird deliver me peace.




I watched the sunset from inside a beach cave, surf rolling in, a Brazilian man beside me trying so hard to “roll in the sand” with me. We laughed as I strongly rejected his advances. I felt my body armor turn on as we spent time together. I’m grateful for this intuitive protection and guidance. My body said no and so I said no to him and his invitation to eat dinner together. A beach cave adventure was enough and I’m off to bed on my own, thank you. So far the Brazilian men I’ve met have been quick to pucker their lips in my direction… skipping right over the flirting and seduction. “Hello my name is ___. Would you like to “roll in the sand with me now?” I say, “No thank you. We literally JUST met and I prefer to know some more for at least more than an hour before I roll in sand with them. Ha!” And he says with a shrug…”but it could be fun, yes?” And I say, “haha yes and still no.”



Tanya, sweet Balinese woman, gave me a massage before I left Uluwatu. I laid on her floor mattress on the cliff top, wind blowing softly across us and her hands were strong. I’m practicing being completely present, listening to every sound I can hear and allowing the sounds and sensations to be all I allow into my awareness. I am focusing right here and now. Everything else may fade away because it is not my here and now. Plans for the future are not my reality. Memories of the past are not my reality. My reality is what my body is sensing right here and now. This moment is life and I am choosing to fully experience it. Life is not mine. I am being an experience of life for a moment until death calls an end to it. So every moment is precious. Every experience is worth having. I am choosing to experience this here and now. Let everything else go go go. I am at peace. — these are my thoughts on the massage bed as the warm hands and wind touch my body.

Through rush hour my taxi driver takes me to the jungle. I leave the surfers and the sun-beaten rugged ocean cliffs behind. I am sad to leave the fresh salty breeze and my curiosity turns me towards the inner mountains of this happy island.

Love & Rainbows, Cha Wilde

This is the artwork I created in Uluwatu…..

Freedom, Aloneness and Soothing in Bali

What’s been the most influential part of your trip thus far? — Q from Trevor

Colors…there is no stress or fear here. Aloneness. Appreciation of the simple pleasures I’ve always loved.

I am living each day free from fear of trauma or being triggered. I’ve been triggered a few times and recovering was rather easy. I realize now how intense it has been for me in Seattle; fear, stress and anxiety. I’ve been sleeping well again, quiet nights in my own bed. I’m more curious about nomadic living, vanlife and unending travel, living a lifestyle that demands less money and less time working. The money goes further here which allows deeper living.

I feel the loneliness. I feel warmed and brightened when I message friends and befriend people here. Conversations are easy with these humans from all round the world. Last night I ate dinner in a circle with Brazilians and didn’t understand 90% of the conversation and had a great time. Total bliss in that moment. A little boy practiced guitar on his doorstep, a toddler played with sparkling fireworks, dogs napped beneath tables, the air was so perfect I couldn’t feel any temperature, I drank watermelon juice, and everyone was in swimsuits and sandy. I feel relieved to feel freedom to live without police and rules everywhere. People keeps smoking beside me at the restaurants and I enjoy the moment of my surprise and then release.

My intuition woke up. I felt called to approach a man on the beach and ask to sit beside him for sunset. Turns out, he really needed a friend in that moment.

I love when my day is filled with poetry, as though it’s dropping out of the sky, a delicate rain of beautiful words caught in my hands and poured onto paper for all to enjoy, for thirsty lips to speak and taste the medicine for the soul.

I am soothed by my return to bohemian beauty and pink peace in which my body relaxes. I feel aloneness here and it’s not a problem. It just is. I know I can reach out to anyone I want and I’ll be received. I am always in good company. Right now it feels wonderful, though slightly foreign, to be alone.

Nature, always nature, I am soothed by the rice paddies and the ocean. I feel a growing desire for my camera, always to be in new scenery. Painting is a portal, zooming me into this one subject. No words, few thoughts, just feelings. Soothing, slow and timeless. Words are a deep dive. Photos turn me outward to appreciate, to engage with the world beyond me.

Love, Cha Wilde

Bali Inspiring My Artwork

How is Bali influencing and inspiring your artwork?


Turquoise water has poured onto my canvas. I rolled out of bed and walked outside to dip my feet in a cool pool of turquoise water, plumeria blossoms floating on the surface. Nothing could be more magical for me. This little flower made my day. I reached for my paints to play. I studied the square tiles on the bottom of the pool and experimented with how many different ways I could paint them. My favorite technique was the first one I tried. Blend white and turquoise paint until smooth, then turn the paintbrush upside down and scratch lines horizontally and vertically to create a grid. I like it because it communicates squares while also still being abstract. When I try painting literally it paints me inside a bit, the attempt at perfection. Perhaps if I were more skilled at painting straight lines and practiced playing with geometry I would discover a love of logic. Alas, I’m happy in the far out abstract.

I couldn’t be more in heaven with the color palette here in Bali. I feel like the country let me do all the decorating. Pink, orange and teal, everywhere. It’s the happiest color combination that feels so vibrant, feminine and warm, tropical, alive, relaxing. I love it! I see it in the landscapes, the clothing, the artwork, the fruit bowls, the walls. Throw away all the other colors and let me paint with these ones. I actually rode a scooter in Denpasar (the “big” city) to the Bali Art Supply store and dropped a couple million rupiah (a couple hundred dollars) on new paint that would perfectly match the Bali palette. I’ll be here for a month so I need more paint to fuel this color obsession. :)

At home In my villa I’m spreading out on the drop cloth and using acrylic paint. In my backpack I carry watercolors. I am thrilled to have a travel sized watercolor kit with a plastic paint brush that holds water inside. This means I don’t have to fill a dipping cup with water to clean my brushes. I just squeeze the brush and water comes out the bristles! Genius invention bringing great convenience and joy to my adventures. Until now I have had very little interest in watercolors. They felt weak, watered down (literally) and bland. I started using them for convenience, giving myself a way (anyway) to create on the go. I’m growing to like them now, seeing the as delicate, elegant, simple, soft, moody. Watercolors are popular for painting landscapes and now I understand why. Bali is lush with gorgeous views to paint and the watercolors blend together easily. Blending is everything; we want the different layers of nature to blend together, everything is connected on a gradient, a spectrum.

As I’m traveling around Bali, I’m learning to “study” as painter. Until now, I’ve been very gung ho, too enthusiastic to make every painting a final product. I was afraid of making something ugly and feeling I’d wasted the materials. I also wanted to feel the accomplishment of completing a project so I could move onto the next one. On this island, I’m enjoying many attempts at the same subject. Let’s paint Tanah Lot Temple ten times! Each time from a different angle, with different colors, on different types of paper, at different times of day, in different sizes. I’m curious now about how the artwork evolves in stages from literal to abstract. The first few paintings I create are very precise for me, I’m carefully drawing lines, looking closely at the live view or picture for reference. Eventually, I’m painting from memory, quickly, loosely, and it’s getting messier with more wild energy and expression. The final painting is reminiscent of the original but disguised in the abstraction, like a memory that has become blurry and yet still feels beautiful.

Love & Rainbows,
Cha Wilde

Tanah Lot Temple - Painting Sunset



I painted a pink sunset at Tanah Lot temple. People swarmed the beach with cameras and I remembered my days as a wedding photographer. The mission is to capture the beautiful subject from an angle that makes the swarming crowds non-existent in the memory. You must walk to the spot where no one else goes. You must get low to the ground. You must be willing to get your feet wet and your ass dirty. It’s crawling with tourists and I felt a part of me grieve, wishing she could walk here in solitude and feel the magnificent temple silent, prayers floating off above the crashing waves.

It’s easy to complain about crowds. It’s more fun to hunt for beauty. I also delight in the challenge to one up everyone else, to take a picture that’s just a little bit more unique and interesting than the standard view. Again, I learned this from my years as a wedding photographer. Hundreds of cameras are shooting, make your picture the most interesting. Think beyond the expected and surprise everyone with a shot they’d never considered.

As the last light of day hovered behind the temple, I climbed onto a wet black rock and painted a watercolor landscape of this temple my father urged me to visit. I wonder how many people were here when he saw it years before I was born. I walked back in darkness, through puddles to my patiently waiting scooter driver. He drove me through the rural rice paddy roads at rush hour to get me to the temple just in time for sunset.

I left the Temple in darkness and my driver took me to The Avocado Factory in Canggu. I ate the most beautifully prepared avocado toast and drank pineapple basil mint kombucha. I made eyes at a man who sat across from me and painted another watercolor of the temple. Multiple people walking through the restaurant stopped to compliment my painting. That was a lovely ego boost. I had been enjoying the creative process but slightly judging my work as “not that good”. I ought to change my tune though, especially after that Australian woman insisted how gorgeous it was and how “absolutely talented and clever” I am (her words not mine) lol. She gave me a little shot of confidence in my work that made me smile and feel excited to keep painting.

There’s a dog in this restaurant, just chillin. I love how casual this island is. Dogs ever here, no helmets or shoes required, smiles appear easily on every face if I smile first and the air is smooth. My whole body is totally comfortable here. I feel I can have anything I want. Peace in my villa, thrill on the back of the scooters, a pretty meal, a taste of anything local and exotic or familiar from home. I like talking to my scooter drivers. None of them have ever left Bali and they’ve never heard of Seattle. This is their whole world. When I say I’m from America they say, “oh long way!” and although it’s a true statement it certainly doesn’t seem far away to me. When I was in Seattle, Bali seemed like a long way away and I longed to be there. I longed to be faraway. Now I am faraway and quite content to stay right here. I don’t feel far away. I feel very much in my comfort zone, at home, right in the spot I’d been longing to be.

Love & Rainbows, Cha Wilde

At My Own Pace

Naked beneath the giant palms, eye level with the ants, sweat on the surface of my skin as I moved through my first yoga practice in Bali. I listen and hear the wind in the leaves, a woman sweeping, birds chatting, a scooter down an alleyway. Equatorial squirrels are bouncing between the skinny trees. I’m curious what’s beyond the pink plant-hugged walls of my villa.

A thought that came to me while walking down Kuta Beach… Within the art of making music is knowing when to allow silence. Within the art of photography is knowing when to put down the camera. Within the art of writing is knowing when to stop using words to tell the story. Within the art of teaching is knowing when to learn. Within the art of living is knowing when to listen and how to let go.


The theme of my day as I wandered…What is the most beautiful thing I can see right now? Steer the mind towards beauty. Can I find beauty with my eyes? I find it with my nose inside a plumeria now. I find it on my ankles in the wave. My ears notice the wind; it’s everywhere in this little jungle maze.

I am allowed to move at my own pace. That means if I take five hours to get ready, that is perfect and nothing needs to change. As I slow myself down, I am meeting myself for the first time in many years. I actually don’t remember the last time I moved at my own pace. There has always been someone else to keep up with or someone dragging along.

Traveling alone yet I still feel the anxious keeping-up energy, a memory stored in my body. I “should be doing something” — I should go sign up for that surfing lesson like my girlfriends, ride that horse like mom, hit on that cute girl like my husband, book a tour like mom, hike that mountain like my marathon-running friends, party in sparkles at the beach club like my rave girlfriend. I could do all the things everyone else in my life would do. I can turn off this go-go-go energy. My yoga teachers call out instructions faster than I can keep up with. When deadlines show up at work, I feel time pressed into me. What if I let it all go and actually move as slowly as I need to in order to cultivate a vibe of bliss?

I’m not interested in time. I don’t need to know what time or day it is. Please put the clocks away from me. I’m very content right here and now. I don’t want to just do something, I want to sit here. Sit here to write and paint, to breath and listen and feel with every single sense I have available, to just be inside my body, a fully alive experience of this moment…this is what I love most…in addition to the thrill of riding on the back of scooters, just get the wind on my skin! The wind washes the energy around the body…blow away bad thoughts.

“We’re not here to fuck spiders,” — Australian men taught me this expression at a Finn’s beach club. It means “we’re not here to fuck around”.

Now I’m thinking about spiders… Everybody moves faster than me, jumping onto the activities like hungry spiders who can’t sit as still as me. I’m on my web of my life. The good tasty shit comes to me. I’m so slow it actually pains other people to be around me. They can’t stand it. They want to seize the day while I’m already holding it. So for years I’ve just moved faster to move at their speed and I am exhausted in this abandonment of myself. No worries though, I’m out here now breathing slowly knowing I never have to go back to rushing. I can continue to make life choices that feel good and fit my body’s deep, slow, steady rhythm.

So now, I sit with my feet in this delicious teal pool, in a pink villa with evening sunshine sparkling through sage green palms. Leave me here for awhile until inspiration strikes me and I’ll move onto my next magical experience.

Love & Rainbows, Cha Wilde

Watch this chapter of my journey come to life in a video — the raw footage from my iPhone is edited into a mini movie! The vlogs are 20-30min episodes so you can come with my on my adventures, see behind the scenes of my creations and listen to my playful monologues and teachings that get thrown into the mix. Become a studio member and you get access to all my travel vlogs.

First Three Hours in Bali

Tell me about your first 3 hours in Bali.

There’s a mosquito on my wall. Does it carry malaria? Will I kill it? I never kill mosquitos. I am friend to life. It seems unwise to choose the bug over myself tonight though. Can I kill in love and peace? Can I escort him/her outside? Oh dear, I’m faced with dilemma; safety and values. Perhaps I’ll pray for this tiny significant creature. Yes, I said significant.


I am comfortable here and I have been from the moment I stepped off the plane and entered the airport. The town of Seminyak was alive tonight with young humans learning how to drink and tasting freedom for the first time. Sitting in the back of Kadek’s van with tinted windows I look out at the blonde girl sitting on the curb refusing to stand up, the loud singer with the almost cheesy deep voice at the club razzling more than dazzling the travelers with classic rock songs. “These guys are all the way from Zimbabwe!” she calls as we drive away through hundreds of parked scooters. A scooter zips by and the woman on the backseat, blissfully drunk, squeezes her driver’s waist tighter and lays her cheek on his shoulder. She looks like she’s in one of those moments, the one where you feel like you’re the main character in the movie and you’re in love with him. I think I watched her sigh of happiness in a millisecond because then she and her whole life were gone to me.

Two young men walked down the street, close to my car a little wobbly, eyes glossed over, probably hoping to meet girls tonight and it’s already too late.

2am arrives with me at this pink villa, giant palms and twinkle lights, a breeze up above in the leaves and a little lizard just skirted up the wall. I’m tucked away behind many walls and security guards, far away now from ruckus nightlife.

My nervous system is a little shaken and stirred by over 48hrs of travel and so many new faces. I make friends easily and on the flight alone I collected six new people, all of whom I could easily reach out to now. One man invited me to the temples and another two men invited me to their private villa where they have a butler, private chef and driver. They also invited me to the utterly amazing beach clubs. Two girls, both living the van life back in the USA, suggested we meet up one night. Another woman said she would be following my journey. My driver, Kadek, promised to take me to the spring water to meditate with him and cleanse our bodies. My extroverted parts are invigorated and grateful I can connect with people so easily and quickly. My introverted parts are longing for solitude and anonymity.


A part of me feels cautious to be swept up into other peoples energy and plans. She reminds me why I have come here. She reminds me to be in my own energy and move at my own pace. Friends are wonderful opportunities into new adventures and also, I need so much time alone. I am easily overstimulated. I dive into quiet hours to write, paint and practice yoga and meditation. She asks me to honor my me-time and my creation time before signing up for all the enticing activities on this island.


I asked my driver if he does yoga. He seemed to say no and yes. No, he doesn’t go to the classes. Yes, he is always meditating and praying throughout the day, after his walks. His energy is beautiful and calm, at peace with himself and nature…just as I’d hoped he would be, just as I hope all humans will be.

The strict yoga practices are breaking me, breaking my old patterns. I’ve subscribed to these practices for over a decade, deepening my need for reflection and stillness overtime. Try easy. Don’t try so hard. What would happen if you just relaxed and allowed it to flow however feels good? Relax relax relax. Maybe in the relaxation I’ll find love.


A part of me is all business. She feels fear of not making enough money. She remembers the terrible feeling of financial stress. She reaches for money and falls out of alignment. I will spend time with her now to understand her fear and comfort and update her. I’ll invite her to join me in this present moment. We are not worried about moneys we do not worry about anything. We  are full of beautiful gifts to play with and our skills are valuable and fun to share. She will realize she can live free of fear and fully empowered. I feel this part of me, a young woman, tight in my chest, unrelenting. She deserves a huge hug of appreciation for working so hard to protect me and getting me this far. I want her to know now that she is able to rest and that the more she rests into love the more successful she’ll be in everything else she approaches.


I write all this, looking out glass doors at the palms and pink walls; a private patio and I visualize myself filming a yoga class there. I am here to create in beauty and peace. And now I must sleep.

Love & Rainbows, Cha Wilde

PS: A part of me wants to share that I’m choosing to type these thoughts and share them publicly when normally I would write by hand and keep my journals tucked away on a shelf for my eyes only. For months though, this writer part of me has been craving to share her words, daydreaming of publishing all that flows through her. I’m approaching these blog posts just like journaling. I write freely, don’t go back and read or edit. It feels risky and vulnerable to click publish immediately after writing, not even allowing a day to reflect. I’m experimenting with this very exposed way of storytelling and expression. This part of me wants to be appreciated for her courage to share and forgiven for any statements that are confusing, poorly written or unkind in anyway. She appreciates you reading with an open mind and letting it all go. All of these are just passing thoughts. thank you.

Somewhere In the Sky Above Japan

somewhere in the sky above Japan…

I’m producing a new song. This makes the time fly. Flights are easy for me now that I can make music on the computer. I get sucked into deep flow. This is the kind of time I pray for at home; long stretches of uninterrupted creation! At home I also don’t want to sit for long periods of time on the computer. On a flight I was destined for sitting anyways so bring on the music machine!

Before leaving, I recorded a few songs into Ableton so I have material to play with. I can usually pump out 2 songs a month so I think I’ll be occupied. Of course, I miss my microphone.

It’s too heavy for me to carry on this trip. Plus, now I’m also spoiled with a vocal booth at home. All my new songs have top quality audio for vocals and my old DIY approach isn’t as exciting these days. Remember when I hauled my recording equipment to Europe in 2018? My backpack was stuffed and security people had to disassemble my bag to inspect the instruments EVERY TIME.

So it’s sensible to travel without the microphone and still I miss it. As I work on these songs I always want to sing a little something extra, adding more vocal samples and silly mouth sounds for the percussion samples.

A part of me wants to travel with all my toys (I need groupies and a van) and another part of me curses the fact I ever fell in love with heavy instruments… life was lighter loads when I only used a yoga mat and a camera.

Speaking of lightening my load… I can feel my Seattle life tagging along for the plane ride, my thoughts still whirling with work tasks and habits. I don’t mind it because I know I usually take a few days to slow down my business momentum. So I carry on with my habits; the journaling, music production, social media posting and email checking. It doesn’t take much to shake it all off though, just a touch of nature and a human smile can woo me away from the screens. When I land in a new place, my senses will awaken and the phone will disappear deep in my pocket. I prefer to minimize the quantity of photos I take when exploring. Capture the essential and be present the rest of the time.

On this airplane (with 7 extra hours added to the first flight — we turned around after flying for 2.5hrs because we needed to switch planes) I created a few videos for you.

  1. Painting Upside Down in Yoga Hammock - My Final Creative Moment in My Art Studio (on YouTube)

  2. Upside Down Painting — Musical Video to “Hello My Love” (available for studio members)

  3. The Final Moments in My Studio; Painting the Orange Wall, Canvas Scrolls and One Last Swing (available for studio members & newsletter subscribers)

While you watch those, I will be exploring. Life is surprising me with a day in South Korean airport.

Love & Rainbows, Cha Wilde

Letting Go Of Everything

What did/do you need to let go of to go on this adventure?

God, so much. Prepare for a brain dump, free flow and no take backsies.

I had to let go of the safe space, the creative womb and familiar patterns of life in my Seattle studio.

I moved into that space in 2020, mid-quarantine, and it was my refuge from trauma at home…it became a home when I felt like I didn’t have one. I constructed a nest of pretty things and called this giant room “The Treasure Box”. I felt safe here and I have had to let go of the physical space while holding the feeling of safety within me. That’s really what I learned here; how to embody safety. I am safe. I am safe for my parts, for myself, for others. I am a safe space. Before I held that safety within, I drew it from my environment, from this studio. I am letting go of the training wheels. I move out into the world carrying safety inside me.

“Be proud of yourself.” These were the last words my studio spoke to me before I closed the door. We blessed each other.

I am letting go of that space being mine. I am letting go of “mine” in general. I have given away many objects that also brought me comfort and meaning.

I am letting go of my husband being “mine” to control. I am letting go of the outcome of where our paths lead us. I am letting go the expectations and hopes I have held for what our relationship could look like. I am letting go of the lifestyle I lived in Seattle with him over the past couple years; a strong routine in a one room studio, living on top of each other and commuting to my studio through the rough part of town. I am letting go of the tension that has built up in my body from this lifestyle, the body armor I have built in to protect myself and survive.

I am letting go of my dream to perform music, to work in an indoor painting studio, to own my own yoga studio, to be a photographer; all careers that have tugged on me with passion. I’ve dabbled and dove deep and this new dream I explore now; the one in which I’m a traveling yogi artist has got me signed up.

I’m letting go of my comfort zone to try this new thing beyond my familiar territory.

I’m letting go of looking perfect and controlling my business and allowing it to evolve intuitively as I move my body around the wide world.

I’m letting go of being close to my friends and family for a while. I’m letting go of all the years, seven years, I have been in this chapter of life with these people — seven years of parties, festivals, polyamory, falling in love, learning how to play music, building businesses, facing fears and learning how to heal. I am letting go of needing to know whether I will have kids or not, letting go of needing to decide that right now.

I am letting go of the epic view out my window of the Olympic Mountain range and the tall ceilings that reminded me how to take up space.

I am letting go my dream to be a DJ and my dream to work in an LA music studio as a producer. I am letting go of the belief that I need a fancy studio to make me a legitimate artist. I let go of the idea that people only respect me because of my impressive studio.

I let go of feeling stuck in one place because of my work. I let go of feeling stuck. I let go of stuckness; believing I’m stuck.

I let go of the fear that I’ll never travel the world. I let go of needing everything to be perfect before I go.

I let go of my daily routines that make me so strong and healthy. I let go of my day needing to roll out a certain way.

I let go of being a spoiled princess, entitled, complaining whenever she has to do something she doesn’t feel like doing; chores. I let go of living as though I’m above chores and draining tasks. I let go of being superior.

I let go of comparing my partners to other people and holding them to such high standards of excellence that I actually separate and judge them. I let go of believing I am separate and superior. I let go of searching for problems. I let go of needing everything to go my way and do it the way I have done it.

I am letting go of the limiting belief, the traumatic memory, of being trapped. I let go of the repeating words in my head; “I desperately need to escape and be free, that need space and to be in my own energy and move at my own pace”. I let go of the cycle and step into the present moment in which I am free to be anywhere in Self.

I am letting go of my clinging to Davey; my codependent parts looking to me now to care for them. I am letting go of the limiting belief that I will be rescued and that someone more perfect than the lover before will whisk me away on a grand adventure to change my life into something new. I let go of all that. Now, (for the first time?) I am taking myself in an adventure.

Love & Sunsets, Cha Wilde

The Orange Wall & Rainbow Speckles

Why did you film yourself painting the wall and cleaning the sink?

I’m sentimental. Life feels more fun, more alive, more magical when I see little moments romantically and turn them into artwork. I could just paint the wall while daydreaming and then leave as though it were just another chore. Instead, I choose to paint the wall as I recall what this wall has given to me.

What role did this wall play in my life? What did I impart on this wall? Same for the sink? My story is now part of this wall’s story and the sink will have a hard time forgetting my paint.

The hours and hours of my precious time I spent with this wall creating videos for my business, dreaming of the freedom I would one day have to leave the wall and venture into the faraway world.

This orange wall gave me confidence to teach, trusting my environment was supportive to my lesson. A marketing strategy to catch the eye and a subconscious message of vitality.

The sink was where I stood, tired and covered in paint, washing away whatever emotions surfaced during my creative play sessions. Warm water on my hands, soothing and natural. I squeeze sponges and realize this is the lifestyle I’ve chosen. I choose to crawl around on the floor with sticky colors and flick bristles of brushes across wet fingertips. I choose this over a desk. I choose this over a computer screen. My entire body gets to be involved.

The wall was the backdrop to my grow as a performing artist and teacher. The sink was the private moment after the mess, cleaning up after myself and grounding into reality. The splatter on the sink is another byproduct piece of art, like my drop cloths and rags; happy little accidents I couldn’t create in purpose. In a way, the splatter is like my artist fingerprint or footprint. I was here. I left beyond these rainbow speckles.

I paint the orange wall back to white as I erase myself from this space, leaving rainbow speckles in the wooden floor. This floor is over 100 years old. How many stories have walked across her and who will step into this space next? I’ll probably never know and she’ll never know where I go either. So I roll on her one last time and say farewell and thank you.

Love and Rainbows, Cha Wilde

Final Days in Seattle Before Bali Adventure

What feels important to share right now?

It is possible to be free and happy. All of us who inspire you where once standing where you are. Where you are is the beginning of the journey to where you wish to go. So declare your desire to be independent, to be seen, to expand into what else is out there beyond.

What is your most memorable moment of today?

Watching the sunset from multiple lookout points around Queen Anne while eating food with Ivy. The sun was hot red begins the wildfire smoke. I realized I have the humans in my life now who I’ve been waiting for; humans who want to walk the hills at sunset while revealing our secret histories, discussing new therapy methods and reflecting with laughter on how silly humans are. I enjoyed a sunset beside another woman who loves adventure, sensuality, freedom, healing and magic.

What are you going to do in Bali?

I hope to be carried down the stream of life. I have a few dots on the map of places I can steer myself to with painting supplies and a yoga mat; the cliffs of an exotic beach, the river paddies and the temple. Apart from that, I plan to return my soul to the rhythm of a balanced life, moving at my pace, guided by intuition, devoted to my simple routines. I intend to wake up and feel with all my senses and remember myself in the present moment, practicing non-attachment to whatever has happened and what will come. In Bali, I am showing up to meet Bali wholeheartedly in the heart and now, please change me as I need to be changed, hold me as I release whatever I thought was mine but actually isn’t and fill me up with the purest energy my body can hold at this stage in my evolution. If nothing else, please take my breath away for a moment when you show me the most beautiful sunset of my life. I’m going to Bali for the sunsets, the magic and to woman I am to become. She will meet me there.

What’s inside your comfort zone now that used to be outside your comfort zone?

I’m selling paintings now. I sold these four this week and shipped them off today. I like to write cute descriptions on the back of the frames. I was so attached to each painting as if it were my baby. I couldn’t bare to part with them until I found collectors that cherished them even more than I do. I stacked them in the corner of the studio. In their new homes they hang proudly on the wall inside frames. Sold they are more appreciated. I was just clinging. Now I enjoy more freedom to create and release. Also traveling (to Asia) alone was beyond my comfort zone and now, with help from friends who fanned my courage, I leave for Bali on Monday. I also used to be afraid to singing in public or even around the house if others might hear me. Now I sing all day without even realizing it. I used to be afraid of skinny dipping and now it’s hard to get me to wear clothes at the beach, at the festivals, in the house, on the internet lol I like the feeling of growth, witnessing my limits move out.

Love & Rainbows, Cha Wilde

Cruella

I LOVED the new Cruella movie…except I hated the music that played in the final credits. It did not fit with the vibe of the movie at all! I got out of the theater at 11pm and zoomed home to turn on my microphone and record the vibe I was hoping for, the perfect ending to that movie. My boys went out to party in Cap Hill and I stayed home to make this song. By 1am the whole song was recorded. I finished producing the song the following week on an airplane (I was flying to Miami for a swingers party).

LYRICS
Cruella
My name is Cruella
Everyone sees me
a little bit darker
That’s cuz I’m free
deep dark and sparkling

Airplanes are my one of THE BEST places to produce music because you’re stuck in the sky for hours with literally nothing else to do, no distractions or interruptions. I feel cool as hell whenever someone looks at my computer screen and sees all the craziness of the Ableton project on my screen. Ever since I was a little girl I’ve loved this secret feeling of showing off on the airplane. I hope someone sees my screen and is impressed by me. As I’ve aged, I’ve learned to stay focused on my work and care less about what other people are observing and thinking about me. Still, though, it’s a fun little game in my mind to feel so creative and cool. Yes, being a music producer is hella cool. All my music producer girlfriends delight in this…we are badass bitches with the power of the universe at our fingertips. We craft sounds and create worlds and play with feelings and swing people’s moods, awakening imaginations and controlling the bodies of everyone who is listening. It’s a power trip.

If I remember correctly, the Cruella movie ends with bouncy playful music. I was like WFT? This whole story is about dark and light. It’s the evil glimmer in her eyes and a crazy laugh. It’s elegant and it’s mischievous — the devil having fun with herself. Give me more of that! So when I produced this song, I held in my mind the deep dark feelings (deep sub bass sounds) and sprinkled sparkles (the glint Cruella’s eyes) over the top (bells, sparkles, chimes). I played with low and high sounds together. Can I make you feel dark gooey evil vibes that don’t scare you, they excite you? It’s fun to be naughty. “Deep, dark and sparkling”

LOVE,
Cha